Hard To Starboard!
by sabresrthebest
Summary: For Kristen Petronsky, life seems perfect. She's engaged to Thomas Andrews, and is First Officer on the R.M.S. Titanic. However, things aren't always as they seem. To her, life stinks. That is, until she meets Mr. Moody.....Final Chapter Up!
1. At First Glance

_Disclaimer_

**I own none of these characters except Kristen Petronsky, Kady Hochley, and Mrs. Petronsky. All other characters are owned or represented by James Cameron's Film, **_**Titanic**_**.**

**I mean no offense in the way characters, real or fake, behave, as it goes along with the story,**

**I know it isn't historically correct, and I have changed some things (not about the sinking, but the role of women and such) to also fit the storyline.**

**Happy Reading!!**

**- The Author**

**Chapter 1**

"Kristen, wake up dear!" my mother called to me. I hesitantly opened my eyes. Judging by the light coming through the window, it was about 5AM. I slid out of bed, and reluctantly hobbled into the kitchen. "Oh, dear! You look simply horrific!! I hope you are not meeting Mr. Andrews in this state!" Mother fussed. That was my mother, always fussing over the little things instead of the big. Once I remembered, I mentally slapped myself. Today was April 10th. The day I was to board the finest ocean liner in the world, _Titanic_, with my fiancé, Thomas Andrews. After being rushed through breakfast, I went to my room to gather what fine clothes I had, and a few personal belongings. " Hurry Kristen! Mr. Andrews is here!"

"Coming mother!" I answered rather impatiently. I ran a brush through my hair, then grabbed my bag, and this time, proceeded into the sitting room.

"Ah- there you are!"

"Yes, I didn't leave without saying goodbye!" I said to my mother while laughing, and kissed her on the cheek.

As Thomas and I were about to exit, she yelled: " Have a safe voyage!"

"We will, Mrs. Petronsky, don't worry. The _Titanic _is unsinkable!" Thomas yelled before shutting the door. After we got into his automobile, we began to talk. "Are you ready for your position as First Officer?"

"Yes." I said wholeheartedly.

"Good. Chief Officer Wilde had some conflict, so you are completely in charge of the other five."

"And I am completely ready Thomas." I responded.

" I know you are darling, I put a very good word in for you with ol' E.J. He looked at your papers and seemed to like them."

I smiled as I looked out the window. The city streets of my hometown, Southampton, whizzed by in blurs of color. Those ever-so-familiar streets eventually turned into harbor. The automobile halted, and the driver helped me out. In front of me, I saw the biggest ship I'd ever seen, the R.M.S. _Titanic_. I gasped slightly.

"Isn't she beautiful?" Thomas asked. I just nodded. He grabbed my bags, and we walked up the gangway. There, he offered his arm, and we strolled along the deck. I gazed in awe at the gorgeous woodwork, and grand décor. The daze was interrupted by the sound of men laughing. We stopped outside the door. " Ah, I believe it is high time you met your officers." Thomas grinned. I gulped as Andrews opened the door. Immediately, the laughing stopped, and five pairs of eyes were fixed on me.

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There's the first part for you! It's my first fic, so please be nice to me! I hope you enjoyed! Next part will hopefully be up soon!


	2. Getting To Know You

_**Disclaimer**_: I only own, Kristen, Kady, and Mother. Blah, Blah, Blah. Oh! And I also changed ages to fit the storyline! J

**Chapter 2**

" Andrews, what the hell do you think you're doing?" one asked.

"SHE is going to be on this ship with YOU?! Nonsense!" another joked.

"A pretty one like that? HA!" a third laughed.

" Actually yes, and gentleman, this is your First Officer." Thomas replied calmly. All five mouths opened.

"Thomas, could you introduce me please?" I asked.

"Of course. This is Second Officer Lightoller." I recognized him as the one that started the jokes.

"Pleasure, m'am." he answered with a nod.

"Third Officer Herbert Pitman." Thomas paused. " Joseph Boxhall, Fourth Officer."

"M'am." Boxhall said while tipping his hat.

"Fifth Officer Harold Lowe."

"Thrilled to meet you." Lowe replied.

" And, Sixth Officer, James Moody." Mr. Moody just smiled. " And this here is First Officer Kristen Petronsky." Thomas finished.

"Happy to meet you all. I trust we will be great friends when this voyage ends." I smiled.

"Well, Kristen, I think I should leave you here to get to know each other. See you later tonight." Thomas suggested. I waved, and as soon as we were behind closed doors, the fun started.

"So, how old are ya?" Lightoller asked.

"23." I responded, truthfully. They gasped.

"23?! That's a year younger than James here!" Lowe stated, We all laughed. It was during this time that I found out who my friends were going to be. Lightoller, Lowe, and Moody. Pitman and Boxhall were nice, but they didn't have a certain spice to them that the other three did. Mr. Lightoller said he was 27. He was a tall, burly man with brown hair and blue eyes. Lowe claimed he was 25. Dark haired, dark eyed, tall. Moody, as said, was 24. Tall, well built, brown hair, and brown eyes. After we talked for a bit, Lightoller, Lowe, Moody and I went to the bridge and to the cabins so I could get familiar. All the way, we were laughing and talking. In no time, we got to the bridge.

"Here, we have the bridge." Lightoller announced.

"I think I know just a bit about ships, Mr. Lightoller." I said with a smile.

He laughed and added: "Charles or Lights, please." The two others laughed as well.

"And Mr. Lowe, Harry, would you care to inform me on why your coat is on inside out?" I asked. Harry blushed, and Moody screamed with laughter. "Moody- your turn. Tell me something."

"Um- you're good at giving orders?" he guessed. Lights and Harry snickered.

"Yes, I do believe that is part of the reason why they made me First Officer. Where are the cabins?" I asked.

"Right this way." Lights responded, leading me down a narrow hallway.

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2nd one! Please be nice! I'll try and update soon!


	3. One Last Look

**Disclaimer: Read the other ones**

**Chapter 3**

Lights walked down a narrow hall, and it ended in a circle with 7 doors surrounding. He walked over to the one directly to the left and opened it, revealing a huge cabin.

"What?! Mine is like 1/8th the size of this! Why can't I be First Officer?" James asked rhetorically.

"I believe that is a question best left unanswered." Harry answered with a sly smile across his face. James laughed and pushed the rim of Lowe's hat down so it fell over his eyes. Lights and I looked at each other and rolled our eyes while laughing. "Oh, so you wanna play rough huh?" Harry asked, literally jumping on Moody.

"Gentlemen." I said calmly. No answer. "GENTLEMEN!" I shouted. They stopped immediately, Lowe's hat sideways and Moody's hair messed up. "You two had better go make yourselves look a bit presentable, at least, the passengers start arriving in an hour. Lights, could you go to the Captain, get the watch list, and post it on the bridge? Please and thank you." Lights nodded, and walked out. Harry followed, and James was last, giving me a smile before he shut the door. I looked to see my bag, already here, and my uniform, hanging up in the corner. I put it on. My next order of business was this cabin. I tried to make it look as homey as possible, and by the time I was done it looked ten times better. As I was about to leave, I grabbed my gloves, and put on my hat. After the door was shut, I slid my gloves on, and made my way up to the bridge, yet again, where I was approached by Captain Smith.

"Miss Petronsky." he acknowledged.

"Captain." I nodded.

"I trust you have maintained order with your officers?"

"Yes Captain."

"Good. Very good indeed. Well, I shall be around if you require assistance." he said, walking away. Thank goodness. I hated being formal. By that time, passengers were being loaded, and the ship sprang to life. People from all different places, backgrounds, families, talked and laughed together like they'd known each other all their lives. Gazing out onto the harbor, I felt it calling to me, saying, _Walk on me one last time._ I listened to it call, and I finally let my guard down and gave in. I walked for awhile, and got lost in memories of when I was young, and how my father used to take me to see the ships. He had such a soft spot for ships. It was always his dream to sail across the Atlantic, to see America with his own eyes. To hear the sounds of New York, to see Lady Liberty, with her torch, welcoming all to the country. My father died when I was a little girl, 5 to be exact. On his deathbed, he made me promise him something. _Be Strong._ Ever since he died, I decided to make his dream come true. To sail across the Atlantic. I was so absorbed, that I lost track of time. Out of nowhere, I heard the ship blast its horn, signaling departure.


	4. Surprises, A Watch List, and Champagne

**Disclaimer: Read Chapter One and you'll get it. Thanks for the reviews!**

**Chapter 4**

As soon as I heard the whistle, I turned around and ran like lightning. I looked frantically for the nearest gangway, and I saw one. Third Class at F-Deck. I bolted in that direction, dodging people, horses, and buggies along the way.

"Hold that gangway! First Officer here!" I shouted while still running. The man stepped aside, and allowed me to start up. I noticed about a 2 foot gap between the edge and the ship, so ignoring my nerves, I instinctively backed up, and ran. I closed my eyes and prayed that I would land on the ship. I felt a pair of hands grab me, and I crashed down to the floor. I opened my eyes to see an officer above me, bracing his weight on his wrists. When I focused, I recognized the face immediately. "Ah, Mr. Moody, how pleasant to see you again." I smiled up at him. He laughed, got off, and helped me up. I brushed off my uniform, and he did the same. "I can't thank you enough, but I really have to go. I owe you one!" I said, walking down the hall. " I'll hold you to it! Catch ya later! I think we're on the same watch!" he yelled after me. As I walked up the stairs to E-Deck, I was met by Pitman.

"Hello m'am. Captain Smith requests your presence at the bridge immediately."

"Thank you Mr. Pitman." I replied while following him back up. In a few minutes only, we were back at the oh-so-familiar bridge.

"Officer Petronsky, Pitman was pretty damn quick. Have you had the chance to overlook the watch list yet?"

"No sir, I was just about to do that actually. Let me go check." I replied to the captain, while walking into the wheelhouse to read the 'message board'. I was just about to read when I was interrupted. I saw Lights.

"Hey!' he said, rather cheerfully.

"Hey Lights! Anything you need?" I asked, suspicious of why he stopped.

"Nah, just figured I'd stop by and kiss up a bit." he winked and laughed.

"Oh please lights, there is something wrong if you think that you need to kiss up to me." I joked.

"Alright then. I'll be on rounds! Cheerio!" he departed, leaving me in the wheelhouse with the 'message board'. I saw the notice on the Captain's stationary, right smack dab in the middle of the corkboard.

_From the Desk of Capt. E.J. Smith_

_All officers of this voyage have been assigned shifts of 4 hours watch, and 8 hours rest. 2 officers shall always be on duty, at all times, no exceptions. Officers may do whatever they please in their spare time, however, all rules are to be followed. Here is the watch:_

_24h00-4h00: Lightoller, Lowe _

_4h00-8h00: Pitman, Boxhall_

_8h00-12h00: Petronsky, Moody_

_12h00-16h00: Lightoller, Lowe_

_16h00-20h00: Pitman, Boxhall_

_20h00-24h00: Petronsky, Moody_

_Note: This watch list is tentative. Any problems, or requests, please talk to me or Officer Petronsky_

_-E.J. Smith_

I grinned. James was indeed on my watch. I reported back to Smithy immediately.

"Do I have your approval?" he asked.

"Yes sir." I nodded.

"Good! Let's all-ahead full!" he requested, while proceeding into the wheelhouse. I went to the Starboard engine, and switched it to 'Full'. Captain Smith did the same with the Port engine. Two bells sounded, letting us know the instructions reached the engine room.

"Is there anything else sir?" I inquired. He put his hand up, therefore dismissing me. I went to the stairs, and walked, or, jumped would be a more appropriate word, down them. I promenaded along the Promenade Deck. I exchanged greetings with several passengers, and enjoyed the fresh air. Later on, I was joined by Harry. "It feels good to be out at sea again, doesn't it?" I asked, blissfully while taking in the air.

Lowe laughed, then stated: "Yeah, it really does. Are you the one going to dinner with the Captain?"

"No, that would be Lights." I sighed, not wanting to remind myself of that verdict.

"What? That makes no sense! You're First Officer, but….."

"Go on. Say it. I'm a woman. Didn't expect any damn respect when I stepped on this ship. Never have been given any and probably never will." I stated sourly.

"That's not true. I respect you, James respects you, Lights respects you." he said, in feeble efforts to try and cheer me up.

"Anyways, would you like to have a little party of our own in the mess hall tonight?" I offered.

"Yeah! That would be really fun! Are you cooking?"

"If you want me to……." I trailed.

"Awesome! I need good food!" he laughed.

That made me smile. "It would only be until 8 because of my shift, could you tell James?" I asked. He nodded and walked off.

I eventually reached my destination, Thomas's room. I knocked just under the gold numbers.

"Oh! There you are! I've been looking for you! Do come in!" he said, opening the door a little wider, then shutting it with a click once I was in. "From what Smith tells me, everything is running smoothly?" I just nodded. "Is there something wrong darling?" he asked, eyes filling with concern.

"No Thomas, I'm just tired. I came to get my things."

"I see you have decided to stay with the officers?"

"Yes. It's much easier. You don't mind?"

He shook his head no while taking a sip of his Brandy. "As long as you're happy, I am. Will you be joining us for dinner?"

"No, Lights is. Smith didn't ask me. Tomorrow's blocked up as well. I've got watch with James." I said.

"James Moody? Fine lad, fine lad indeed. I think you two will get along just fine. Care for champagne?" he offered.

"No thanks, I must be leaving." I said while picking up my suitcase.

" Have a goodnight darling, watch well." he said, kissing me lightly. "I love you."

I shut the door without answering his last statement. I couldn't. Most women on this ship want to claw my eyes out. They'd kill for Thomas, the looks, the money, the everything. Just to get a moment with him. I have all the moments I want with him, the problem is, I don't want them. If I broke it off, Mother would die. I know it. We need the money. I was snapped out of my daze when I heard someone call my name.

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Extra long one as a present for the reviews! Thank you! Keep them coming, please!


	5. Tea and a Chat

**Disclaimer: Read the Others**

**Chapter 5**

"Miss Petronsky! Telegram!" I heard someone call. I turned in the direction of the voice to see the young wireless operator, Harold Bride, running down the hall. When he got to me, I accepted the small yellow piece of paper he was offering me.

"Thank you, Mr. Bride." I said. He nodded briefly and turned back in the direction of the Macaroni Wireless Room. I unfolded the paper, and noticed it was from Mother.

_Kristen. _STOP._ I hope you are having a fine voyage. _STOP. _Many fine men on ship. _STOP. _Focus on Andrews. _STOP. _Mother. _STOP

'How could she?!' I thought as I ripped it in half, then throwing it on the floor. How could she ruin my life?! I was so angry that I was still in a foul mood when I reached the bridge.

"Oi! I see you've decided to move in with the rest of us!" a very cheerful Harry Lowe observed.

"What does it look like?" I asked sarcastically before going to my cabin.

"Yeah! That's why I said 'I see'!" he yelled after me. Paying no mind, I dropped the suitcase on my bed and went back up to the bridge.

"Yes Harry, I am moving in with you guys. Besides, I need to get started on your dinner." I said.

He looked at his brass pocket watch. The hands pointed to 12 and 7. "12:35?! It takes you 5 hours to make dinner?!" he asked surprisingly.

"Well, if you want a good one, it does. I will be in the Mess Hall kitchen if you need me." I reported before going to the tiny kitchen. It had the necessities, but nothing more. It would have to do. As soon as I got my things out, I heard someone call for me.

"Kristen! We need you on the bridge now!" I set my knife down, and stomped up to the bridge, a little irritated.

"Ah! There you are! Where is the teapot?" James asked. I just laughed. "What?"

"YOU called ME up here because of a TEAPOT?! Unreal!!!!!" I struggled to get the sentence out because I was laughing so hard.

"Well, since you will not inform me of its whereabouts, could you make me a pot?" he requested.

"What am I, a slave?" I asked before going back down to the kitchen, and made His Majesty's tea. It took a little while, and when it was nice and hot, I put a tad of cinnamon in it and garnished the cup with a lemon. Careful not to spill it, I walked back up to the bridge. I saw James, tapped him on the shoulder, and gave him the tea. He took a sip, and his eyes widened.

"Wow! That's amazing! What do you put in it?" I just shrugged my shoulder and walked away. James laughed and Lights came up.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"Nothing. Taste this." James said, offering the cup.

Lights took it, and had the same reaction. "Jeez, since when did you learn how to make tea?!"

"Thanks Lights, and Kristen made it."

"Hm- I have to go get a cup. See you later!" Lights replied while making his way down to the Mess Hall, where I was still making dinner. "Hey! Can I have a cup of the famous tea!?" he asked me.

"Of course Lights. Here."

He took a sip. "Mmmmmm. Perfect. Have you noticed James lately? He seems a little lost."

"Yes I have. I wonder why." I trailed, grabbing a tomato and chopping it with a knife.

"My theory is that it has to do with a very smart, very beautiful First Officer." he smiled while raising an eyebrow and taking a sip of tea.

"Oh really? And what ship would this, this 'captivating' officer be on?" I asked, switching to an onion.

"Hm- the R.M.S. _Titanic _if I'm not mistaken."

"Oh, stop it Lights!" I exclaimed, while pushing the onions off to the side while starting to peel another.

"Have you seen the way he looks at you?!" I shook my head no. "Well, it's there. I must be going. Thanks for the company, _and_ the tea!" he exclaimed, while heading out.

"Anytime Lights!" I called after him.

Mr. Lightoller, cup of tea in hand, returned up to the bridge to find a very lost-looking James Moody.

"You love her, don't you?" Lightoller asked, purposely trying to catch the Junior Officer off-guard.

"Yes…." he sighed. Lights' face broke into a smile, from ear-to-ear. "Wait! I mean no! I mean yes---NO!" James stuttered, finally giving up and letting his head fall into his hands.

"It's okay, lad." Lights, said, trying to reassure.

"Oh, what do I do?"

"I take it you've never been in love?" the elder officer asked.

"Once, but it was childhood silliness. Other than that, never."

"Great. All the harder. Well, the best advice I can give is be yourself, don't treat her any differently than you normally would, and please, try to be somewhat civil."

"That's the problem, Lights! I can't!" James fretted

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Thanks again for the reviews! You guys are really helpful! I'll hopefully have Chapter 6 out soon! Keep those reviews coming, please! :D


	6. Lunch and a Dinner Party

**Disclaimer: I hate them. Read Chapter One! I don't own Maria Murdoch either.**

**Chapter 6**

Back down in the kitchen, I lost track of time and remembered I was supposed to meet Thomas for lunch. I quickly ran up to my cabin, and put my corset on. I have no idea why I did, because I had no stewardess, and therefore, no one to tighten it. "Oh, great. LIGHTS! JAMES! SOMEBODY!" I yelled. In a minute, not only James, but Lights showed up at my door as well. They both gasped. "I'm dreadfully sorry for my state, but can one of you tighten this for me?" I asked, while holding my hair up and turning around.

"Go! Now's your chance!" Lights whispered to James, pushing him forward. Moody took a deep breath, and proceeded. He picked up the two laces on the back and began to- or- _tried _to tighten it. His fingers were nimble, however, he fumbled. The 'tightening' did nothing. "James, let me handle it!" Lights said, coming over and taking Moody's place. "How tight do you want it?"

"Keep going. I will let you know." I said. Lightoller obviously had experience with corsets, because he did it exactly. I looked over at James, and saw his eyes, with the most obvious tint of green I've ever seen. Wow, was he jealous, however, he watched in awe as the corset made my waist tinier and tinier. After the next tighten, I inhaled sharply and said: "Thank you, Mr. Lightoller." James was still staring.

"How the hell do you breathe in that thing and why the hell do you have to wear it?!' he asked.

"I'm a woman. And to men, Mr. Moody, women are expected to be flawless. There is no such thing as a heavier-set woman. Men expect us to be false, to be what we're not." I sighed.

"You're very right Kristen, although I have to say I don't agree at all." Lights nodded.

"Women can be whoever they want to be, in my opinion." James said.

"Yes. And now if you two gentlemen wouldn't mind, I must get ready. Thank you again." I said, dismissing them. Once they were out, I put on a flowing blue dress, some earrings, and the tiniest bit of makeup. When I was ready, I made my way to the Café.

"Ah! There you are darling!" Thomas said in a kind, welcoming tone. A steward pulled my chair out, and I nodded in thanks. I glanced around at our lunch company. J. Bruce Ismay, Molly Brown, the Countess of Rothes, Thomas, and I. Not too horrendous.

"Oh Thomas! She's lovely!" Molly interjected across the table.

"Where'd ya find her?" Ismay inquired, while taking a puff of his cigar.

"Thank you Molly, she is, isn't she, and Bruce, it was arranged, but we do get along quite well." Thomas replied, answering the two questions.

"I have to admit, we do." I said, submitting to the conversation.

"Aren't you the First Officer of this marvelous ship?" the Countess asked curiously.

"Yes, I am, and lucky to be it. How has your voyage been so far?" I questioned out of sheer politeness.

"Quite impressive, thank you. I never knew a ship could be this grand, Mr. Andrews. I congratulate you, not only on your engagement, but of your accomplishment." the Countess finished.

Bruce raised his glass for a toast. "To _Titanic_!" he said before taking a sip. We all repeated. Lunch dragged on for about 2 hours. We touched on several topics, none of which I was interested in. Eventually, it was time for me to return to the bridge. I bid everyone farewell, and left.

"Polite. Sweet. Simple, yes, but she's amiable." the Countess said.

"Yes, and spunky too." Molly laughed.

"Everything they said." Bruce chuckled, pointing at the two ladies.

Meanwhile, on the bridge, things were a tad crazy. Pitman and Boxhall were amusing themselves while playing catch with Harry's hat, Harry jumping for it, and missing every time.

"Can't I leave you alone for two hours?! Or is that too much?!" I said angrily, while walking over and snatching the hat from a very surprised Pitman. I returned it to its rightful owner, and said : "You'd better get back to work." Before turning around and walking away.

"Bitch." I heard Boxhall hiss under his breath. Inside, I wanted to turn around and beat his butt all the way down to G- Deck, but I, being the lady that I am, controlled myself. I lifted the skirt off my dress slightly so I could climb the stairs to the bridge. I saw Lights manning engines, and James recording temperatures in the log. As soon as I was within view, James looked at me.

Lights noticed, chuckled, and said: " Might want to keep your eyes on what you're doing instead of the traffic on the bridge there, James." The young officer blushed a tad, and turned back to his work. While I was walking to the cabins, I was approached by the Captain.

"Miss Petronsky! Good news!"

"Excellent. I like good news. What is it sir?" I asked excitedly. I could sure use some good news.

"When we dock in Cherbourg tomorrow, we will have another Officer among us. His name is William Murdoch, and his wife, Maria, will also be with him." the Captain said.

"That's great news!" I enthused.

"Therefore, you have been bumped up to Cheof, and Mr. Murdoch will handle First Officer duties."

"Thanks a million, sir!" I smiled, ear-to-ear at him before running to my cabin to change. Instead of my old uniform, I found a new one with a note attached in its place.

_Kristen-_

_This arrived this morning upon EJ's request._

_-Thomas_

I studied the new article of clothing. Standard hat, with a pea-coat like, 6- buttoned blouse, and a skirt. I also received high fashion boots. All were the usual black with brass buttons. I liked it, and it fit perfectly. I had a bit of time, so I went down to finish dinner. In an hour, it was done. For the time being, I stored it, and went to the bridge to talk to Harry.

"Hey! Sharp uniform!" he said flashing a thumbs-up. I returned the favor.

"Harry, could you and James come for your lunch/ dinner in like 10 minutes? It's a bit early, sorry." I yelled.

He turned and replied: "Yeah, absolutely."

Therefore, I went down and did the tedious tasks, such as setting the table. Everything was ready by the time the boys came. We ate, and they commented on how great the food was. After our dinner, I cleaned up, and we played a bit of Poker. I, of course, lost, but it was still fun. Unfortunately, we were called to the bridge by Smith.


	7. Crow's Nest

_**Disclaimer: Read the others. P.S. Sorry about the last chapter! I forgot to run it through spell-check! LOL!**_

_**Chapter 7**_

"_Thank you Harry, but I only need James and Kristen." Smith said, dismissing him. "As you know, we will be docking in Cherbourg tomorrow morning. I need you to keep in constant communication with the lookouts, and steer in the right direction. As it is now 4 o'clock, I shall be getting ready for dinner. If you need anything, you can reach me there. Kristen, you may move your things into the Chief Officer's cabin. And remember, no interruptions at dinner unless it's urgent." he said walking off._

_I, following orders, went to my cabin and began cleaning. James followed, and leaned against the door frame, silent. It took all of 10 minutes to clean out and set up my new cabin. "Mr. Moody, did you need anything?" I asked. He shook his head, and wandered up to the bridge._

"_Well, did ya ask her?" Lights asked excitedly._

"_No. I can't Lights, I'm too shy." James said._

"_The words 'James Moody' and 'shy' don't fit together in the same sentence." Lights replied slyly._

"_When it comes to women, they fit perfectly."_

"_Ha. Well, I must go. Dinner. Take advantage of that shift tonight." Lights advised before walking away. James sighed as he watched the Senior Officer go. He had no one to turn to, so out of sheer boredom, he went to pay a visit to the lookouts._

"_Hey Fleet! Look who it is! It's Jamsey-boy!" Lee shouted obnoxiously. James frowned as he heard his stupid nickname that he picked up on a previous voyage._

"_Hello to you too, Reg." James replied sourly, climbing the ladder to the Crow's Nest. He was helped in by Fleet, and they began to talk._

"_So what do you need?"_

"_Advice."_

"_Oi! What about?" Fleet asked._

"_Women."_

"_Ooooooh! Would ya look at that? Jamsey- boy's got a crush!"_

"_Is it on that First Officer down there? She's a beauty." Lee joshed._

"_No! Why would you ev-" James started before he was interrupted._

"_Oh! He's blushin! Jamsey-boy's in love, Jamsey-boy's in love!" they chanted._

"_I need your help. How do I ask her?"_

"_Oh! Getting a little serious eh, Jamsey-boy?" Fleet joked._

"_Well, every man knows. You get down on one knee, and give the speech……." Lee trailed._

"_Not proposal, you bumbling fool! Never mind!" James replied as he descended down the ladder._

"_Have fun!"_

"_And remember, left knee up! It looks better!" _

"_No, the right does." Fleet countered._

"_Left."_

"_Right." Fleet said again._

"_LEFT!!!!"_

"_RIGHT!!!!!" Fleet shouted, so loud that you could have heard him in the Boiler Rooms._

"_SHUT UP!!!!" James yelled, as he reached the boat deck. "Idiots." he mumbled before walking back to the bridge._

"_Oh! There you are James! I've been looking for you!" I called. He turned to acknowledge me. "Tonight, do you want to do two hour shifts?" I asked him._

"_No, we'll stay out together. I'm good. Are you going to be alright? I know you got up early."_

"_I should be. If I'm not, wake me up." I told him. He nodded, and I turned to walk away, but I heard him call after me. I turned around._

"_Hey, I was wondering, um--would you like to--uh-- take a walk?" He finally spit it out._

"_Sure! I'd love to!" I exclaimed. A wave of relief swept over him as he walked to me. I could see it in his face. He offered his arm, I took it, and we proceeded to the deck._

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_Once again, thanks for the reviews! I'll get 8 up soon!_


	8. A Death in the Family

**Disclaimer: See Ch. 1. I also own John Moody.**

**Chapter 8**

We walked along the deck, talking, laughing, and enjoying the scenery. It had turned into a lovely evening, and from my experience at sea, it was going to be a beautiful night as well.

"You're awful quiet. Something wrong?" he questioned.

"No. You're quick to assume the worst. Just taking everything in. It takes awhile you know." I joked.

"That's better. I do have one question though." he said, leaning against a cable.

"Which is?" I asked, crossing my arms as a smile spread across my face.

"How could a woman like you find any interest in the sea whatsoever?"

"It goes back. When I was a little girl, my father used to bring me to the harbor to see the ships. He was always fascinated. The Officers loved to see me, they thought I was the cutest little thing. It all ended when I was five. My father died. He always had a dream to sail across the Atlantic, so I took initiative and am doing it for him. And myself of course." I finished.

"Wow."

"So, what about you Mr. Moody? Your childhood?"

"Well, I was born in Scarborough in 1888. My parents were average, not rich, not poor. I have a brother, John. He's two years older than me. That's who I'm meeting in New York. You can come to see him if you'd like."

"Yes, I'd like very much to meet your brother if he's at all like you." I said.

"He is, actually. Looks quite a bit like me too."

I laughed, and we continued to walk.

"Miss Petronsky!" I heard the familiar voice of Harold Bride call. I accepted his yellow slip of paper once again, and opened it:

_Kristen Rebecca Petronsky-_

_We are very sorry to inform you that your mother, Victoria Elizabeth Petronsky, was found dead in her home on Main Street. She was discovered by a neighbor at just around three. More details will follow._

_-Our Lady of Blessed Sacrament Church_

_Southampton, England_

I covered my mouth in horror, and didn't say anything. Didn't make a sound, nothing. James looked at me questioningly. It was when I read it over for the 5th time that I realized what had happened. My mother. Gone. Just like my father. I broke down into tears. I let them flow like a waterfall, down my face, and onto the deck. I sank down on my knees, buried my head in my hands, and cried.

"What's wrong?" James asked. I just shoved the telegram at him. He opened it, read it, and his mouth opened wide. He took me in his arms, and hugged me. "Shhhhh. It's alright. Everything will be okay." he murmured into my ear.

"No-----no it's not! I don't have anyone now!"

"You have Andrews." James said.

"Someone that will care for me because they love me James, because they love me. Not because it was arranged, because they love me." I cried, finally finding the strength to stand.

"Once again, Andrews." he said.

"No James. You don't understand! You…..don't…..understand. I have no one! No one!" I exclaimed before walking off.

"You have me." he muttered under his breath. "You have me."

When I got to the bridge, I brushed past a very surprised Harry, and into my room, where I slammed the door shut. I needed to be alone. Shortly after, Moody followed. Harry was looking from James, to my door, to James.

"Just read it." James advised, giving the telegram to Harry. His eyes scanned from left to right, taking in those words.

"Oh no." he moaned. "Did you at least offer condolences??" he questioned.

"Do you think I'm that stupid?" James asked, before he realized that he actually hadn't. Harry knew better than to say anything, but when James proceeded towards my door, he knew the answer.

I sat in my room, writing a note to Thomas. I couldn't do it. I couldn't. I refused to let myself fall to someone I didn't love. When I was little, I had always dreamed of my wedding. Defying society, I would stand next to a man I loved. He would take me in his arms, kiss me, and we'd be each other's. I wouldn't be a feeble possession to this man. No. I would be his wife.

_Dearest Thomas-_

_I cannot marry you. I am not in love with you, nor do I think I ever will be. I think it is best for us both if we go our separate ways._

_-Kristen_

I read the note over, but crumpled it up and threw it into the wastebasket when I remembered mother. I was snapped out of my daze when I heard a knock at my door.

"Come in." I said, trying to make my voice strong, although I knew it wasn't. I heard a door open, a pause, then click shut. I heard boots coming up behind me. The visitor came over, and stood to the right of me. It was James.

"I never said I was sorry earlier."

"That's alright." I replied, trying to smile.

"You know, you were wrong when you said you had nobody. You'll always have me, Harry, and Lights. We'll always be here for you. If you need me, and I'm across the ocean, I'll sail back for you." James said.

"Really?" I asked.

He nodded. "And I'd have my own ship, the _S.S. Moody_, what do you think?" he asked, trying to make me smile.

His efforts worked, and I said: "I think it sounds perfect. Now that you would pick me up, where would we go Captain?"

"Hm….Captain Moody….has a ring to it, don't ya think? And, oh, I don't know, where would the lovely lady on the _S.S. Moody _care to go?" he asked, in a matter-of-fact tone.

I laughed, and replied: "To see the world of course!" He laughed as well. We laughed for about a minute, and then it died down. I found that he was looking at me.

"What?" I asked.

"How could anyone _not _want to marry you, and how come you aren't married off already? I'd expect one like you to be gone at 19." he asked.

"Well, well, well. Did I just get a compliment from Captain Moody?"

"Yes, I do believe so."

"Then, you shall receive an answer. There are many reasons why men wouldn't want to marry me." I said quite simply.

"Oh please. Give me one." he joked.

"Let's see, I am too independent. No men find that attractive. Not in the slightest." I laughed, surprised at what I said even though I spoke the truth.

"I have to say that it isn't entirely true. I have to go record again though, see you on shift." he said. Then, to my surprise, he leaned down and I felt his soft lips brush against my cheek. I broke out into a smile. He walked over to the door, opened it, and said: "As a matter of fact, some men find that very attractive." before going out. I smiled after him, and when I touched the spot where he kissed me, the smile got even bigger.

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Aw! There is the first bit of romantic action! Thanks for the reviews, and keep them coming, please!


	9. Water Bombs

**Disclaimer: Read Chapt. 1**

**Chapter 9 **

As James Moody walked away from my cabin, he couldn't help but feel proud of himself. He was so proud, in fact, that he wore a huge smile on his face. When he was once again on the bridge, he retrieved the log for temperature recordings, when he was spotted by Lowe.

"You're awful cheerful about recording temperatures." Harry stated, rather glumly.

"Nope. Guess again." James replied, joking with his friend. He got no reply, so he decided to answer his own question.

"It's Kristen. I kissed her. I KISSED HER HARRY, I KISSED HER!!!!!" James exclaimed.

"Like, mouth kiss? Tongue action? Do tell."

"No, just cheek, but still! I kissed her!" James replied.

"You're too much of a gentleman. But congratulations. Lights will be ecstatic!" Harry smiled.

"I know!"

"So when do you plan on _kissing _her?" Harry asked, stressing the word 'kissing', and fumbling with some controls.

"I don't know, when the time's right I guess. I take things as they are thrown at me." James said, getting on his tiptoes to get the temperature reading, then writing it down.

"Well, you obviously took the woman that was thrown at you. And you're lucky, she's a good one." Harry nodded.

"Did you just give me approval in an odd way?" James inquired, puzzled.

"Maybe. Yeah. I think. So, when are you seeing her again?" Harry asked, smiling.

"Tonight, on shift. She's still a bit down though. I'd expect her to be. Anything I could do to cheer her up?"

"Kiss her." Harry said, smiling and walking away. James stood there, laughing, Perhaps he would. He didn't want to rush her, especially since she just lost her mother. "I must go though."

"Catch ya later!" James said, bidding farewell to his friend. Since I was feeling much better, I decided to go up to the bridge. I saw James, recording temperatures. I walked over and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned, and smiled when he saw me.

"Having fun?" I asked.

"Well, besides the fact that I'm doing the most hated job in the Officer world, yes, I am." I laughed at him.

"I remember when I had to do that. Another Officer would have to pick me up so I could read it because I was so short! I still am!" I exclaimed.

"For goodness sakes, you aren't short at all! You're the perfect height!"

"What about you, you seem a bit below average in the height department?"

"I am average height exactly, thank you very much." he replied, recording another reading.

"I know! Can't I joke?" I laughed. It caused him to laugh also. There we stood, laughing like there was no tomorrow on the bridge.

"Hey! Do I have my hat on backwards or something?" Harry asked, pointing to his head.

"No, Harry. We were just joking. What is that in your hand?" I asked.

"Oh! This?" He laughed as he held it up. "This is a water bomb I made to throw at Ismay. Well, er, Fleet made it to throw at you two on the bridge during your shift, but I confiscated it and am going to throw it at Ismay!"

"Thank you for confiscating, but you will do no such thing!" I said, taking the bomb from Harry. "I need to go knock some sense into them. Excuse me."

I marched down to the deck and over to the Crow's Nest. I began to climb up the ladder, and I pounded on the little latch. Lee opened it. "Well, well, well, if it isn't Jamsey-boy's girl!" he said helping me in. Once inside, I straightened up my uniform.

"Gentlemen, I came to talk to you about the water bomb you made….." I trailed before being interrupted.

"Oh! Wasn't that simply magnificent? It's amazing what an old food wrapper can do!" Fleet yelled triumphantly, high-fiving Lee.

"Yes, it was magnificent!"

"Are you being sarcastic?" Lee inquired.

"No, OF COURSE I'M BEING SARCASTIC! WHY WOULD YOU EVEN THINK OF DOING SUCH A THING?!" I screamed.

"C-C-Cause it would have been funny."

"DO YOU THINK GETTING FIRED WOULD BE VERY FUNNY?!"

"N-No m'am."

"THEN I'D WATCH YOUR STEP! I'LL LET IT SLIDE THIS TIME, BUT NOT NEXT TIME, ARE WE UNDERSTOOD?!" I screamed again. They nodded quickly, and I began the descend down the ladder.

"Yeesh, I feel bad for Jamsey-boy." Lee muttered, meant for me not to hear. However, I heard, and I realized that I had the water bomb. Without thinking, I threw it up through the little door, and it hit Fleet right in the face.

"Aaaaarrrrggggghhhh!" I heard him yell. I just shrugged my shoulders, and when I got back down to the deck, I rubbed my hands together. Upon my return to the bridge, it was about 5:30. I saw Pitman and Boxhall, doing what they were supposed to do for once, and I assumed that James and Harry were in the Mess Hall. I saw them, sitting at a table, resting.

"Now, why are you guys in here?" I asked.

"You gave James here a headache." Harry sighed.

"I think you got them well enough." James replied.

"I think I did as well. Now, who's up for some Poker?" I asked.

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A bit of nonsense, but I thought it put some insight on how everyone acted towards each other! Keep those reviews coming!


	10. Mess Hall Brawl

**Disclaimer: Chapter 1!**

**Chapter 10**

"Full House! In your face Harry!" James exclaimed as he collected the huge pot in the middle of the table. I threw my cards at James, who was now the dealer. I had just about given up. I stunk at Poker. Never was really good at it.

"I will get you for that, you know." Harry sighed, as he too handed over his cards.

"Oh, would you look at the time! James and I have shift!" I said happily.

"Kristen, we have half an hour, Smith is at dinner, and Boxhall hasn't complained yet, so we're fine. Besides, I don't feel like getting pelted with water bombs, thank you very much."

"I doubt you would, Kristen gave them a little talking to." Harry smiled, while organizing what few coins he had left.

"Try a little screaming to."

"Was it that loud?" I asked, surprised.

"Uh-huh." They both said at the same time. I just laughed at them. We stopped, when we heard the door open. It was Pitman.

"We're done." he said, before dropping into a chair.

"Excuse me, Mr. Pitman, could you repeat that?" I asked, because I wanted what I heard to be different.

"I thought you were English. That's the language you speak, isn't it. I said, we are done. We're tired."

"I don't give a damn if you're tired, get up and finish your watch!" I said, not angrily, not aggressively, but somewhere in-between.

"Frankly, I don't give a damn what you want me to do. The fact is, I'm tired."

"The fact is that she is your First Officer. She tells you what to do, and you do it!"

"Oh, shut up, Moody. You don't know anything that goes on around here! Neither does she!" Pitman said, pointing at me.

` "Excuse me? Then if I don't know anything, why am I First Officer?"

"Excuse you?! Excuse me m'am, but the last time I checked, you were a woman! I don't take orders from women, they take orders from me."

"Guys, can we please…." Harry trailed, trying to break up the fight before it happened.

"Please Pitman, it's not like you could follow anything given to you anyways." Moody huffed. That got Pitman angry. Harry sighed as the two men went at it.

"Oh, and am I the one that got lost yesterday? Er, no, I believe that was you. You had to get a steward to take you back up to B-Deck!" Pitman countered.

"And I'm not the one insulting the First Officer!" James hissed, while getting up and walking towards him.

"This isn't good…." I whispered to Harry.

"Nah, Pitman's too much of a wimp. James there is pretty strong. Good fighter as well."

I gasped when I heard the word 'fighter'. "They're gonna fight?!"

"From the looks of it." Harry replied, nudging his chin forward. I turned in that direction to see a rather angry James, advancing on a rather frightened Pitman.

" Ah! You wouldn't hit me, Moody! Too much of a wimp!" Pitman laughed, as the Junior Officer continued to move towards him.

"Oh, you obviously don't know me as well as you thought then, do ya?"

"Come on, gentleman. Don't fight. I'm ordering you, don't fight!" I said. Both turned to look at me.

"I told ya before, I don't take orders from women." he said before punching Moody. I gasped, as I watched Moody hit back.

"Harry! Stop them!" I pleaded. Hearing my request, Lowe rushed forward, and pulled the two apart. Both had gotten their fair share of swings at each other, and were still angry. "Now. Pitman, your shift is over, Moody and I have to go to the bridge. Tomorrow, you _will _be working double shift, first with Mr. Lightoller and Mr. Lowe, second on your regular. I don't want to hear anything of it. Harry, if you'll deal with him please." I suggested. Harry nodded, as he let Moody go. We walked out of the Mess Hall, and up to the bridge to start our shift, in complete silence.


	11. One Kiss From You

Disclaimer: Once again, Chapter 1!

Chapter 11

**As soon as we reached the bridge, I felt the cold air. Not bad for April on the North Atlantic, but still. I walked to the crew member managing the wheel, and suggested that he go get warm. He thanked me, and I took charge for a bit. James broke the silence.**

"**Are you alright?"**

"**Yes, why wouldn't I be?" I asked him.**

"**Well, Pitman was pretty nasty back there."**

"**I'm used to it James. I'm fine. Could you call Fleet and Lee, and tell them that it is rather hard to see from the bridge, so to alert us if they see even the smallest piece of ice?" He nodded, as he walked to the phone to make the call. Much to his dismay, they answered.**

"**Hullo?" Came Lee's deep voice.**

"**Yes, it's James." Moody replied, regretting that he even told them who was calling.**

"**Oi! It's Jamsey-boy! We met your girl earlier today and-"**

"**Ok, Reg, shut up. I need to relay orders to you. From the First Officer."**

"**Oh, if it isn't from the wicked witch herself." Lee said, obnoxiously.**

**` "First, and foremost, she is not a wicked witch, and second, we need you to tell us if you see anything, anything at all. It's too hard to see from the bridge."**

"**Will do, buckaroo." Lee replied, hanging up. James too, hung up the phone, and started back to where I was at the wheel. He was about a foot away when the phone rang again. Rolling his eyes, he went back and picked it up.**

"**We see water." Fleet said.**

"**You idiot! Of course there's water, it's an ocean! **_**Important **_**things you see."**

"**Oh! You didn't say that!" Fleet said, hanging up. **

"**Giving you problems?" I asked. James just nodded. "Could you handle the wheel for a moment please?" He nodded once again, relieving me of wheel duty. I walked over to the phone, and rested against the wall, waiting for the call. Indeed, it rang.**

"**We see a bird! And yes, it is important, because it could cause us injury if it flies at us! And about your girl, Jamsey-boy, she's tough! Quite hot though when she's angry, I must say." It was Lee this time.**

"**Am I really, Reginald?" I asked.**

"**Ah! No ! I-I thought you were James!" he yelled, trying to hide his embarrassment. I heard Fleet laughing in the background.**

"**That's ok. Keep your eyes out." I replied, hanging up the phone. I laughed as I walked back to where James was. The crewman in charge of the wheel came back out, so we decided to talk, and look at the stars.**

"**You're engaged to Andrews, aren't you?" he asked, and I swore I heard a note of sadness in his voice.**

"**Yes, but I don't love him, not one bit." I sighed.**

"**Why wouldn't you want to marry him? He's got money!"**

"**Yes, but I'm not like other women, James. I don't want to marry for money. I know it's impossible, but I want to marry for love." **

"**It's not impossible."**

"**You're a man. You can have anyone you want. You can marry for love."**

"**Not true. It's a matter if women will take you. The ones you love, that is." he said.**

"**Why wouldn't they take you if they love you?"**

"**When they find out you have nothing to offer them. Women are all twisted. They don't know the real values."**

"**I'm not twisted. I wouldn't care if we even had a house, just as long as I loved the man I was out in the cold with." I laughed. He smiled as well.**

"**I know, and you definitely wouldn't be out in the cold with Andrews."**

"**I hate to intrude, but do you have a lady you call your own, or would like to?"**

"**As a matter of fact there is. I could never have her though." he sighed.**

"**Why not? Is she married? Engaged?" I inquired.**

"**Engaged." he replied.**

"**Oh! I could help! Thomas could take anything he wanted to court, and he'd win!" I exclaimed, eager to help my friend.**

"**It's not a legal issue….not yet."**

"**Well, does she love you?" I asked him.**

"**I really don't think she is sure of herself at this moment."**

"**Oh, then why don't you talk to her fiancé?"**

"**I don't think he'd be that eager to let her go."**

"**Why not? I'm sure he's a reasonable man." I suggested.**

"**He loves her!" James exclaimed.**

"**I see. Do you think she misses you?"**

"**Nope. I see her every day." **

"**Even when you are at sea. When did you meet her?" I asked.**

"**Recently." That was when I started to wonder who he was talking about.**_** See Kristen? He's in love with someone else! You don't have a chance! Or maybe you do, if he's talking about you…….**_

"**And you are so sure?"**

"**Definitely."**

"**She must be special then, could you tell me about her?" I asked with a smile.**

"**Of course. She reminds me a lot of you, actually." he said, giving me a teasing smile. My heart fluttered. **_**He's talking about you!**_

"**Oh, wow! And who is she engaged to?"**

"**I believe his name is Andrews, Thomas Andrews." he said, rolling his eyes, then smiling. I didn't say anything, I just hugged him. "So, are you still unsure of yourself?"**

**I looked up at him, smiled, and said: "Not anymore."**

**Before I could say anything else, the space between us was closed. I felt his soft lips against mine. I felt happier than I ever had in a very, very long time.**


	12. A Lady for Lightoller

**Disclaimer: Chapter 1! I also own Kristen's Little sister**

**Chapter 12**

When we broke apart, I glanced up to the sky, and spotted all the stars. "Hey look, it's Ursa Major!" I said, while pointing up.

"Um….isn't it called the Big Dipper?"

"Yes, but the scientific name is Ursa Major, and look there's the North Star! It's so beautiful!"

"Mhm….and over there, is Cassiopeia."

"Wow. There are so many!" I replied, thoroughly enchanted.

"Come, we must be missed on the bridge. Let's go back." he suggested, giving me a light tug on the arm. I willingly followed, and we found Harry.

"Harry? What are you doing out here?" I asked, surprised that he would want to be out past his normal time.

"Wanted to make sure you guys were okay, or if you needed anything because I was just about to turn in." he yawned.

"No, we're fine, thanks." James told his friend. Harry nodded, and went to the cabins. Once inside the wheelhouse again, I made sure everything was in order before going to check in at the Wireless Room. I saw Jack Philips and Harold Bride hammering away at the telegraphs. When Philips noticed my presence, he finished the wire, then took his earphones off, and walked over to me.

"Officer Petronsky."

"Mr. Philips, how is everything going?" I asked curiously, while watching Bride slam on the table angrily while crumpling up a message. Philips glanced back, and laughed.

"Everything is fine. Thank you, can I send anything for you?"

"Yes, actually, thank you." I said. He handed me a piece of paper and a pencil. I wrote:

_From now on, find me in America, I won't return home. I miss you, I love you._

_-Kristen_

After I finished, I handed the piece of paper to Philips, who read it, and looked at me questioningly. "My little sister. She has been staying with a friend." Philips nodded as he sat back down to send my wire. I satisfied, reported back to the bridge. I glanced up at the analog clock on the wall, and it read, 9:35. _They should be back from dinner anytime now._ I thought, walking out to check. Instead of Captain Smith and Mr. Lightoller, I saw, of all things, Mr. Lightoller and a woman! I was so surprised. "James!" I called.

He came rushing over. "What?"

I just nudged my chin forward as they kissed. "Hm….looks like Charlie's got a girl for himself, now he can stop nagging me about you."

I listened to James, and then I marched down to where they were. I stopped a few feet away and cleared my throat. They broke apart, and when he saw me, Lightoller gained a defeated look in his eyes. "Mr. Lightoller, your presence is needed on the bridge." HE shook his head solemnly, bid farewell to the lady, and proceeded. The young woman began to walk away, but I called after her. "Miss! May I speak with you for a moment please?" She nodded, and waited for me to catch up with her.

"Please don't tell the Captain! It was a kiss! An innocent kiss!" she wailed.

"It's okay, I'm not going to tell, I think it's wonderful!" I smiled.

"Thank you, you're very kind!"

"Think nothing of it. I guess you could consider me a bit of a sucker for romance." I joked, and she laughed.

"My name's Kady Hochley by the way. May I ask yours?"

"Kristen Petronsky." I replied, sticking my hand out for a shake.

She shook it delicately, than said: "You're Thomas Andrew's fiancé, aren't you?"

"Yes, although I wish I wasn't." I sighed. "I'm not much for parties."

"Me neither! I'm glad I found someone like me! It will be good to have a friend!" she exclaimed.

"KRISTEN!!!!!!!" I heard James yell.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go. I will be seeing you around. Nice to meet you!"

"Nice to meet you as well." she said, before turning in the opposite direction, and walking back inside. I ran up to the bridge, to see James, and Lights.

"Thanks Kristen. You have to bombard a perfect moment. Now you're going to tell the Captain, and I'm going to….." Lights trailed, before I interrupted.

"Lights, first of all, relax, and second of all, I'm not going to tell Smith! I think it's wonderful!"

"Well then why did you break it up then?" James just chuckled as he watched us argue.

"Because I didn't want you to get caught. Would you have wanted Smith to catch you, Or worse? Fleet and Lee?"

"Too late." James muttered, pointing to the Crow's Nest. I could barely make out a very excited Lee, and a Fleet with binoculars glued to his face. I laughed, and Lights groaned. "Where is Smith anyways?"

"In the smoking room with Ismay and Andrews."

"Figures. You'd better get rest. You'll need it. You have Pitman on your watch as well tomorrow afternoon." I suggested, walking over to make sure the engines were working properly.

"Why in the hell is he on my watch?!"

"Ask Harry." James said.

"Well then, I will take your advice." he replied, walking away.

"Oh, and Lights?"

"When are you meeting your lady friend again?" I inquired.

"Tomorrow afternoon. Why?"

"I'll keep Smith distracted." I smiled. He did the same, and walked to the cabins. I began to rub my hands furiously together, as the gloves on them did nothing to stop the cold from coming through. The night watch passed by very slowly, nothing interesting happened. By the time Harry and Lights came out to take over, we were dead tired, and went in to sleep, leaving the ship's course in their hands.

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Again, thank you for reviews!


	13. Cherbourg

**Disclaimer: Chapter 1**

**Chapter 13**

I was awakened the next morning by a loud blast of the ship's whistle. I sat straight up in bed, and groaned as flopped back down on the pillows. I tossed, I turned, unable to get back to sleep. I reluctantly threw back the covers, and got up. After putting on my uniform, I went up to the deck, eyes still half closed.

"Oh! There you are! I see our little wake up call worked!" I was greeted by a rather happy James.

"Um, yes, thank you. I appreciate it." I groaned.

"Hey, I knew you wouldn't get up with a stolen pillow, or a vat of water dumped over your head, so we blew the whistle. The Captain thought it would be a bit interesting, and it scared the hell out of Fleet and Lee."

I laughed as Harry came over: "Good morning."

"Morning Harry! 45 degrees, 7:45 AM, April 11th…." James muttered.

"So, did you tell Lights about the little scramble in the mess last night?"

"Yes, he was quite intrigued actually, on why our young, shy Mr. Moody would fight."

"I believe he already knows the answer." I told Harry, while walking away with a smile.

"Whoa! Is there something I don't know here?!"

I continued to laugh as I was spotted by Smith. "Oh, good morning Captain! How was dinner last night?"

"Rather enjoyable, thank you. I trust that you kept things in order here?"

I thought, perhaps _in order _weren't the right words to describe last night, but who said he had to know about those things. "Yes, absolutely. Everything went along fine."

"Good, good. We shall be dropping anchor in about an hour. I shall entrust you with assigning officers to their duties, as well as greeting passengers. Well, off you go then." Smith ordered, sending me away.

I, being myself, decided to take charge. "Officers! I need you over here please!" Everyone came, except for Pitman and Boxhall. "That means you too, gentlemen. Captain's orders." They still wouldn't move. Lights went over to them, and dragged them by the shoulders to where everyone was. "Good. As you all know, we will be dropping anchor in Cherbourg next hour. I've been assigned to tell you who is doing what, where. We will stay in our watch groups of two, doing various tasks. Mr. Lightoller, Mr. Lowe, you will be on the Second-Class Gangway, welcoming. Mr. Pitman, Mr. Boxhall, you two shall be on the Third-Class Gangway, inspecting tickets, and loading mail as well. Mr. Moody and I shall be on First-Class, greeting. Are there any problems?" I asked, glaring slightly at Pitman and Boxhall. No one moved. "Alright then, lets go get ourselves looking presentable, and I will meet you back here in 45!"

After giving my last order, and after everyone else left, I went to my cabin. I donned a new pair of gloves, and went to the mirror to fix myself a tad. I stared at the reflection. I saw a young woman look back at me. Her face, youthful, yet cold because of the lack of sleep. Her eyes, once bright, now dull. Her mouth, always curved up in a smile, now a straight line. I tore my face away from the mirror, unable to look at what I'd become. As much as I loved the sea, it had changed me. It had morphed me into someone I wasn't. I don't think anyone knew what I felt, not that anyone cared. I know Thomas _thinks _he does, but actions speak louder than words. Ever since Mom passed on, and ever since Lissy went to live with her friend, I have no family. I don't want to be thrust into a world of galas, of parties, and of society, I just want to be loved and to love someone back! Honestly, is that too much to ask? I'm beginning to think so. As I glanced up in the mirror once again, I saw one tear, fall slowly down the young woman's cheek. Her hand brushed it away, yet more came. I couldn't take any more. I let every drop of anger, and sadness fall out of me in each one of those tears. I walked out of the small bathroom, and onto my bed. I recalled memories, and memories of Mother, of Lissy.

I cried for so long, that I didn't even notice the time. I eventually gathered all my emotions up, and capped them inside once more. I wiped my eyes, and headed out to the wheelhouse once more.

"Ah! There she is! We've been waiting!" Lights smiled. I tried my best to return it, but I couldn't. "Is there something wrong?" he asked, the smile fading from his face.

I shook my head no, as everyone met up again. James and I headed to the First-Class gangway, and we talked along the way.

"So, who famous is boarding?"

"I really don't know. Thomas didn't tell me anything. Excuse me, m'am." I said, speed walking down the hall.

"That's not like him."

"Yes, well, I haven't seen him since last afternoon. He hasn't stopped by. Not like it's a bad thing either." I muttered, saying the last part rather quietly. He laughed, as we eventually reached our destination. We opened the door to see the first tugs full of passengers on their way in. Quite a sight. When the first tug pulled up, only a few passengers were from First-Class. Easy for us. Still, we helped unload, and the last First-Class passengers were admitted. The last couple that got on was interesting. A tall man, in an Officer's Uniform, and a shorter woman, with a snobby aura to her. _The Murdochs._ I thought to myself as I gasped.

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	14. The Murdochs

**Disclaimer: Chapt. 1!**

**Chapter 14**

James shut the door behind the Murdochs, and everything was silent. They focused their eyes on me, and they bore through me like a drill. Obviously, they were expecting me to say something, greet them, etc.

"Welcome aboard _Titanic, _Mr. and Mrs. Murdoch."

I said. He nodded curtly, and they followed us back up to the bridge. "Captain! Officer Murdoch has arrived, sir!"

"Ah, Will! Maria! Pleasure to see you again! You may put your things into the First Officer's cabin." the Captain smiled. Murdoch seemed somewhat taken aback by his statement.

"I thought it was the Chief Officer's cabin, sir?"

"Ah, no, I was mistaken, our Chief is Miss Petronsky here." Smith said, smiling in my direction.

"Pleasure to meet you both." I said, sticking my hand out. No one returned the shake, so I drew it back in.

"A woman officer, how, _appealing_." Maria said, with distain, I was right, she was a snob.

"And this is our Sixth Officer, James Moody." the Captain introduced.

"Oh Mr. Moody! Pleasure!" Maria exclaimed, flinging herself all over James. She stuck her hand out, wanting him to kiss it. Instead, he shook it, the smile never fading off his face. I laughed slightly.

"I'm sorry Captain, but I must be on rounds. I will see you later. Pleasure to meet you two." I smiled, bidding farewell. As soon as I was out of earshot, the gossip started.

"A woman, on a ship with a hoard of men? How _vulgar_!"

"Relax darling, we must go unpack. I shall see you later Captain. Thank you for the position, no matter if it is below a woman."

"Yes, Mr. Murdoch, we are lucky to have her." Smith smiled while walking away, leaving Will and Maria alone on the bridge. They rolled their eyes as they went to my old cabin. Meanwhile, James and I were strolling around the ship. Unfortunately, we were met by Thomas.

"Oh! Hello darling! And who do we have here?" Thomas asked, scanning James.

"This is Sixth Officer James Moody."

"Pleasure, lad. I trust you have been keeping her safe?"

"Yes we were patrolling to finish off our duties for Cherbourg." James smiled.

"Good, good. You Officers are the best of the best. And darling, there is a party tonight. The whole ship is expecting you to be here. Your dress should have arrived in your cabin, I don't know if you've been there recently."

"No, I haven't."

"I think you'll like it. And are you feeling alright? You don't look good."he asked, bringing one hand up and putting it on my face. I wanted to rip it off, and push him away. To have it be James instead of Thomas. I stuck with it though.

"I'm fine Thomas." I said, removing his hand, then looking at the floor. He looked surprised for a moment, but let it go.

"I'm terribly sad, but I have to make sure the passengers are comfortable. Nice to meet you, lad, and keep that precious parcel safe." Andrews said, while pinching my cheek, than walking away.

"Did he really just pinch your cheek?" James asked, pushing aside some hair to see. Indeed, there was a little red mark.

"Yes, and I believe he referred to me as a parcel as well." I sighed.

"You are precious, but you aren't a parcel, you're a woman." he smiled.

"James, we might want to move." I suggested.

"Yeah, that could be good." he replied as we walked back up to the boat deck. We went into a corner by a smokestack with a horn in the sight of the bridge.

"Do continue." I smiled.

"I wasn't going to say anything." he smiled, putting his arms around my waist. "I was going to do something though."

"Oh were you?" I asked. In a moment, we were once again connected through a kiss. I entered a world of bliss, a world of happiness that I thought I would never see again. We both lost all our senses, as we fell deeper and deeper into the passionate kiss we were living. We were brought back to reality when the horn sounded, causing us to jump about ten feet inn the air. We looked up at the bridge at the same time to see Lights and Lowe, smiling and waving. We both laughed, as I emerged first, almost fake stomping up to the bridge. I raised an eyebrow at them.

"You two looked rather….cozy." Lowe commented.

"We were, thanks." James retorted.

Lights laughed. "Congratulations you two. I called you up here because I was going to say 'Get a Cabin!'!"

"Um, yeah Lights, after your little show on the deck last night, that didn't even compare!" I exclaimed. He blushed slightly.

"Whoa! What happened on the deck?" Harry asked. We all shrugged and walked off. "How come I'm always the one left out! I need to do something bad! People need to talk about me too!" he pouted.

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	15. Memories

_**Disclaimer: Chapter 1**_

_**Chapter 15**_

_No Harry, you don't want people to talk about you._ I thought to myself as I recalled events from the past day. Ah, the lovely Mrs. Murdoch and her awful husband! Why did they have to board?! Why? I pondered that question when I opened my cabin door and wandered in. After the door was shut, I saw a parcel on my bed. Assuming it was the dress, I opened it, and found that my assumption was correct.

It was long, poofy, and cream colored. No straps, yet, of course, a tight waistline. Plenty of embroidering surrounded all, and it was donned with a little shimmer as well. Personally, I would have picked different, but it wasn't too awful. A corset would be required of course, and I groaned at the thought of that dreadful thing being put on my body again. I couldn't breathe. I swear, the men make us wear them so we can't think straight, thus, making us do what they want! I carefully put the dress on my bed, and walked to my trunk to see what kind of makeup I had available. When I was rummaging through, I came across a very old photograph. When I looked at it closely, my breath caught in my throat. It was my family, before Lissy. I saw my father's stern, yet warm and welcoming face. I saw my mother's kind eyes. I saw myself, in-between them, smiling, when my eyes were bright, and everyday, everything would be a smile. Even when I would be sad, I found someway to smile. I wish I could go back in time to when that escaped, and to harness it, once and for all, so I could hold it, forever and ever. I looked to the upper corner, and saw that rip. I sighed as I looked at it, and thought back. I thought back, to Nautical School.

"_Give that back!" I shouted, as one of my classmates, Will Murdoch held up my family photograph._

"_Why should I?" he asked, while glancing at it. A few moments of silence followed, and finally, he spoke up again. "Aw! Would ya look at that! There's your mommy, and there's your daddy! You miss them?"_

"_I-" I started, before he turned it over._

"_Oh! And look! There's a little note from mommy too! Dear Kristen- I will always love you, and I do wish you would come home. Everyone misses you! Especially Patch! -Love, Mom. Aw! Who's Patch!? Your teddy bear?!" Will laughed sinisterly, as the other classmates joined in._

"_No! He's my cat!" I said, struggling not to cry._

"_Oh! Well then why don't you go home! Sew! Cook! Do what you're supposed to do! You don't belong with us! You don't belong here!" he yelled, grabbing the upper corner of the picture with both hands._

"_No! Don't!" I cried out. But it was too late. I followed one hand, as he moved it down, still clutching the paper. I heard the horrible noise of the paper being ripped. After he was satisfied, he threw it back down at me._

"_Don't think you'll EVER be above me again, Petronsky! You won't!" he whispered to me before walking away. As soon as he got to the door, he yelled back: "Oh! And tell Patch I said hello!" With that, he slammed the door. I waited until the sounds of laughter disappeared, and then, I let the tears come._

I slowly flipped the picture over. The note was still there. "Look at me now Murdoch." I whispered. "Look. At. Me. Now." I bent my head down, and I felt a solitary tear slide down my cheek. I put that photograph down, only to find more underneath. The next one I picked up was of myself, and my favorite Uncle in the world, Uncle Lou.

"_Can I go on the ship with you too, Uncle?" I asked excitedly._

"_No, I'm sorry. You can wear my hat though." he replied with a smile, putting it on me. The hat sank down over my eyes, and I smiled up at him._

"_When I grow up, I wanna be just like you!"_

"_Do you now?" I nodded excitedly. "Well then, you'll just have to meet the Officers, now won't you?"_

"_Really Uncle?!" I asked excitedly. He nodded, and picked me up. We went up a gangway, and onto the ship. We both laughed all the way up, and when we got on, he put me down. He led me up to the bridge, where I saw five other men._

"_And who would this fair lady be?" one asked, kneeling down._

"_Kristen." I said. _

_He took my hand, kissed it, and said: "Pleasure, miss."_

_I giggled as the man stood up to talk to my Uncle. "She's fine. What brings her here?"_

"_She wants to be just like her Uncle Lou, Chief Officer." Lou smiled proudly._

"_Oh, that she does. She seems determined enough. I wouldn't doubt it if she was an Officer of the grandest ship in the world one day!"_

_Lou continued to smile, and said: "Kristen! It's time to go! Say goodbye!"_

"_Goodbye!" I smiled happily as we walked away._

I never saw Uncle Lou again. After his voyage, he joined the services, and was involved in an accident. That memory caused me to smile. I did it. I accomplished what I always wanted. I proved the Officer's statement true. After I put that picture aside, I found a hair comb. I remembered, it was a present from Mother on my 16th birthday. It was a beautiful, wave like pattern, with small Sapphires outlining the swirls. My Mother said it matched my eyes, and that it would always remind me of the sea. It served its purpose. I gingerly took it out of the suitcase, and decided that I was going to wear it with my gown, although it didn't quite match. I walked over, and softly put it on the bed on top of the dress. As I remembered, it looked like my Mother's wedding dress. As I was in my daze, I was interrupted by a shout.

"KRISTEN!!!!!!! We need you!"

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	16. In the Wrong Place at the Wrong Time

Disclaimer: Chapter 1. (PS. I hate wordpad, so now my layout is a bit different for this Chapter. Oh, whatever.)

Chapter 16

After I heard my name, I raced up to the bridge like lightning. I threw open the door, and saw Pitman and James, ready to face off once more.

"Gentleman!" I shouted. Moody glanced up, one hand clutching Pitman's collar, the other ready to punch.

"What?!" Pitman asked, too vehemently for my liking.

"Watch your mouth, Mr. Pitman, and you know very well what! Do you want to double up again?! Or worse, triple?!"{ I threatened.

"No." Pitman huffed.

"Mr. Moody, let go." He did so, allowing Pitman to fall with a thud on the wood floor. "You men are impossible. Can't I trust you? Honestly!"

Everyone sighed, disbanding, as Lights came over to me. "You must let men have their fun."

"And this thing you call 'fun' involves hitting each other until you pass out?"

"Pretty much sums it up." Lights replied with a grin.

"Alright, but we can't have too much fun! We are sophisticated officers of a sophisticated ship! We are supposed to be polite, and refined!" I exclaimed, pulling at the cuff of my sleeve.

"Where the heck did ya hear that?"

"I said so. Now why the bloody hell were they fighting this time?!"

Lights glanced around before touching my shoulder lightly and pulling me to the side. "Once again, Pitman insulted you. Harry would have thrown a few, as would I, if we'd been here. We've only just arrived."

"Well, Mr. Pitman needs to control his mouth, and Mr. Moody needs to learn to control his temper."

"Why all the 'Mister'?"

"We're in public." I whispered.

He nodded in understanding before speaking once more. "Ah, yes. I heard that Andrews is bringing a tour up later today."

"Ah, dammit." I saighed.

"Why?" he questioned with a rather funny look on his face.

"What time?"

"4:30, I believe."

"Even worse, Pitman and Boxhall." I groaned.

"Couldn't you switch shifts? That way you and James would get your shift out of the way, make us all look good, and have time to enjoy the party tonight." Lights suggested.

"Yes, that's good. Mr. Boxhall!" He glanced up from his work. 'After you are finished, could you come over here please?" After finishing his task, he proceeded to come over.

"What can I do for you?"

"Well, I was wondering if you and Mr. Pitman wouldn't mind switching shift with James and I." I smiled.

"I--uh...." He was answered with a glare by Lightoller.

"Absolutely! No problem!" he smiled falseley.

"Fabulous. Now you and Mr. Pitman should go rest." I nodded. He walked away, going to tell Pitman about the switch. Meanwhile, I went to find James.

"James!" I called. I looked around the corner to find him by the temperature meter. He looked back, and smiled.

"Hey. What's wrong?" he asked, placing the log down, and coming over to me. "Have you been crying?"

"No, it's nothing." I said, a bit too quickly, wiping my eyes, to try and hide the redness and leftover tears.

"Yes it is. Tell me." he said, calmly placing his hands on my shoulders.

"I was going through my suitcase, and I found some pictures, that's all."

"No, it isn't. Come on, girl. I know you better then that." he replied, lifting my chin up with a finger.

"Well, I pulled out a picture of my family, and I remembered back to Nautical School. Murdoch and I went to the same place. He was such a bastard to me, James! A bastard!" I cried.

"No wonder. It's okay, I'll deal with him." he said carelessly.

"James, you won't. "

"Anything else, there's something bigger."

"Well, I saw a picture of myself, and my Uncle. I loved him so. He was a Chief Officer. I remembered I wanted to be just like him when I grew up."

"What was your Uncle's name?" James asked, with a questioning loook on his face.

"Lou. Lou Petronsky."

"Really! He was an Officer on a White Star ship, wasn't he?!"

"Yes, I believe so. Do you know of him?"

"I served under him!" James exclaimed. "He was excellent. A great leader, awesome personality. Now I know where you get it from."

"Thanks. And that's how I became an Officer. Uncle Lou inspired me." He gave me a warm smile, and a light peck on the mouth.

"Is that the reason you came for me?"

"No, I wanted to tell you that we are switching shifts with Pitman and Boxhall. Thomas is bringing a tour up at 4:30. Lights suggested it so we'd make everyone look good." I smiled.

`James laughed and shook his head. "That's Lights for ya."

"For once, I do believe you are right. Mr. Moody." I joked.

"You're going to the party tonight then?"

"Yes. I have to." I groaned, rolling my eyes.

"Oh man. I was hoping you'd stay here with me."

"Oh no! You're coming!" I exclaimed.

"I can't! I can't dance! And that witch Mrs. Murdoch will be there!"

"Lights and Harry are going...." I trailed.

"Oh, ok, I'll go then I guess. Only because of that though, you hear?!" he laughed, with a stricter tone.

"Alright. I must be going though. I will see you later." I smiled.

"Goodbye." he replied, kissing me. We were in a secure location, however, we were not the only ones that saw. A grinning Mrs. Murdoch just had begun to walk away.

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	17. A Fight and a Bridge Tour

**Disclaimer: Chapter 1! Normal format! Yay!**

**Chapter 17**

I walked out of the room, completely unsuspecting that anyone even saw us kiss. If anyone did, who would tell? The bridge seemed desolate, as the shifts were just about to change.

Lights and Harry walked over, and Lights said: "Harry's going to distract Smith, so whatever he does, go along with it, ok?"

"Yeah. Of course. Have fun with Kady! Just please, stay private or hidden." I warned,

"I know, I know, Mom." Lights joked. I tapped him on the shoulder lightly, sending him off.

"15 minutes and counting." James whispered behind me. I turned to look at the analog clock on the wall. Harry and Lights got off a tad late, and I only had 15 minutes to get the bridge looking a bit decent.

"James, could you get me that rag over there?" I asked, nudging my chin to where it hung. He walked over, grabbed it, and gave it to me.

"Everything looks fine Kristen, it's not going to get any better, please, calm yourself."

"Everything here could look better, including your coat." I responded, pulling his sleeves taut.

"Yeesh, what's the big deal? It's just a bridge tour!"

"A First-Class bridge tour! They hate us enough already, so let's try to be as impeccable as we can."

" I'm afraid that the word 'impeccable' isn't in the Officers' dictionary, darling." James sighed.

"Did you just call me darling?" I asked, while dusting the phones off.

"Yes, why?"

"I don't know, no one's ever really called me that before."

"Andrews does, I heard him." James sighed.

"Not meaning it. No one _really _calls me darling, put it that way."

"Didn't your mom or dad ever say 'Sweet dreams, darling', or, 'Good Night, angel'?" he asked.

"No. My father might have, I just don't remember."

"Where is Mr. Lightoller?!" I heard the Captain ask.

"He….um…." I heard Harry struggle.

"He went to take a stroll around the ship, sir. I said it was okay. He looked exhausted, he needed a break." I said, saving.

"Hm…yes, good. I trust your judgment. I shall be around. However, I'm sorry, I won't be here when Mr. Andrews comes up with the tour. I have a meeting with Mr. Ismay."

"Yes, sir." Harry nodded.

"Make a good impression, I'm not worried about you three." he finished, walking down the stairs to the Promenade.

"Thank you so much! I couldn't think of anything!" Harry smiled.

"Anytime, now, can you please stay up here when the tour comes. I REALLY don't want Pitman and Boxhall, and Lights is, well...occupied." I trailed, then breaking out into a smile.

"That's a nice way to put it." Harry laughed. I laughed as well.

"Now, here we have the bridge." The laughing stopped as I heard Thomas' voice and footsteps coming up the stairs. I hurried over and made it look like we were actually doing something. Harry was by the phones, James the temperature meter like usual, and me tending to engines and speed readings. "This is where the Officers and Captain steer and manage the ship's controls."

I stretched up to see the speed reading. 21 knots. Excellent. I retreated down to record the reading in the ship log.

"Let's see, on the bridge right now, we have our 5th Officer Harold Lowe, our 6th Officer James Moody, and our Chief Officer, Kristen Petronsky." Thomas added. I heard them gasp slightly as they heard a woman's name. I've gotten used to it. "Kristen!" I turned around and acknowledged Thomas. "Could you come here please?" I smiled and walked over. "Why aren't you getting ready?" he whispered.

"I have a duty, Thomas."

"I know you have a duty! You and the others are supposed to be down at 7 o'clock! Sharp! That's when I'm coming to get you!"

"Yes Thomas!" I whispered harshly before turning around and going back.

"Darling! Get back here!" I heard him yell. I kept walking. "Excuse me, Mr. Lowe, could you tell more about your duties, I must go talk to her." Harry looked confused, yet nodded, and began to talk. James saw Andrews go after me, and he walked out of the wheelhouse and onto the little walkway in order to see what was going on. I marched down to just about below the Crow's Nest. I heard boots clicking behind me, and I turned to see Thomas.

"Why are you following me? Can't I be by myself?" I asked.

"I need to talk to you. You spoke to me in an unacceptable manner back there!"

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"I told you damn well what and you know what! I am your fiancé, and I am to be treated as such!" he exclaimed.

"What about me then!? You mouth off to me all the time, and I don't give YOU lip about it!" I retorted.

"You are a woman! You aren't a member of society like I am, you are an Officer! You're damn lucky I agreed to marry you! If it wasn't for the fact that you're beautiful, I wouldn't ever of set eyes on you! Don't get me wrong, now that I know you, I love you to death, but you have no rights at all!" he exclaimed.

I looked appalled. Thomas Andrews. THE Thomas Andrews. Wow. I never knew he had that in him. "What about you!? You never notice anything I do! You're too busy buried in your damn blueprints to care!"

"I do too care! You're so buried in your damn work all the time!" I was going to walk away, but he grasped my shoulders. "You're not going anywhere, darling."

"Yet, you still call me 'darling', I just don't understand!"

"I call you darling because I love you! Can't a man be in love with a woman to marry?!" he asked.

"Not in this world." I sighed.

"That's not entirely true. We're in love." he replied, kissing me. It was different. I wasn't whisked away. I wasn't in a fantasy land. In my mind, I was still on the deck of the _Titanic_, kissing a man I didn't love. I was the one that broke it.

"I'm deeply sorry Thomas, but I must get ready." I said, walking off.

"Seven!" I heard him call after me. By the time I got back up to the bridge, the tour was gone, and I walked into my room, a little too fast for James and Harry's liking.

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	18. Corset

Disclaimer: Read 1!

Chapter 18

**Once I knew I was securely in my room with four thick walls surrounding me, I let my anger go. I hit my pillow a few times, trying to exert all the negative energy. I glanced at the dress, just sitting there on the bed. And the corset. Oh, that dreaded, awful thing! It was already about 5, so I had to put it on whether I liked it or not. **_**You're a dignified woman! Why are you acting this way?! Put the damn thing on! **_**I thought to myself. My conscience eventually won over my heart, something that rarely happens to me. I put the corset on, and held it secure.**

"**JAMES!!!!!" I shouted. In a second he was at my door, worried look and all. He came in, closed it, and walked over to me.**

"**You alright? You walked off the bridge a little too fast."**

"**I'm fine! I'd be even better if you could tighten for me!" I exclaimed, turning around and holding my hair. He grabbed the laces, and actually tightened. A few times, his fingers touched the skin of my back, sending electric shocks through my entire body.**

"**Tighter?"**

"**I'll tell you." He still kept going, yet unlike Lights, he tightened it more in one pull. He kept going, yet the tugs kept getting harder.. I wasn't expected, but he tugged so hard, that I saw stars. I brought my hand up to my head, trying to regain composure, but all I saw after that was black.**

**James' POV**

I was tightening Kristen's corset, actually proud that I was doing it right. So proud in fact, that I tightened faster, harder, forgetting that corsets were like demons to a woman. Have them too tight, say goodbye for a bit. I was too busy thinking, when I felt her go limp in my arms. I stopped sharply, thinking, _Oh no. Oh goodness no! Don't faint! Or worse, don't let Andrews fi-No! Kristen! Kristen! Focus on Kristen!_ I turned her around to see her eyes closed, and mouth open slightly. I rested my head on her chest, and felt it rise and fall. At least that was a good sign. I picked her up, and marveled at how light she was. I moved her dress carefully off the bed, and set her down, ever so gently. I pulled up a chair and sat. Sat, and waited.

**Kristen's POV**

I was dreaming. I didn't know where I was, who I was with, or what had even happened. I was floating, above the clouds, far away. Far away from Thomas, far away from _Titanic,_ far away from all my problems. I saw mother, father, Uncle Lou. I knew I wasn't dead. It didn't feel right.

"No, Kristen. Go back. Go back to him. Not yet. Not yet." I heard my mother say, in a calming tone. I got her message clearly though, go back. To James. Not Thomas, to James. It seemed as if this time, I fell back, through the sky, through the clouds, until I landed with a thud on the floor of my cabin. I opened my eyes a little, and I saw color. The colors of my cabin. I felt myself on a bed, laying down. Once I was focused, I looked at the ceiling. Yes, I was indeed in my cabin.

"James?" I asked, softly.

"Darling? Are you alright? Can you sit up?" he asked hurriedly.

I nodded as I slowly sat up, I felt his hand on the small of my back for support, and I felt my own up at my head. "What happened?"

"Well, I was tightening your corset, and it got a little too tight. You fainted." he simply stated. I laughed a tad, while trying to get up. He helped me, and I began to regain my balance. It was slow, yet steady, and before long, I felt fine.

"Thank you James, now if you'll excuse me, I must get ready." I said.

"Well, why do I have to leave?"

"Thomas is coming, and you don't get to see the whole picture tonight. I want it to be the surprise unveiling of the prettiest picture you've ever seen!" I exclaimed.

"I'm already looking at it." he smiled before kissing me lightly. "Yet, I will contain myself, behave like a gentleman, leave unwillingly, and wait until tonight."

"Oh, get out you!" I smiled, pushing him out the door, then smiling to myself. I walked over to where James put the dress, and lifted it up. I was really surprised I didn't need a cage under it, but, regardless, I put it on. It actually fell nicely. Quite low-cut, I must admit, but, I liked how it looked. I smoothed it out a tad, and looked at my reflection in the mirror. I walked over to my bag, grabbed a brush, and began to brush my hair. It looked a lot better by the time I was done, and I put it up in a bun, with two strands hanging down at either side of my face. After I was done with my hair, I got the earrings, makeup, and my comb. I put makeup on, just enough to make my face look happier. I glanced at the earrings, diamonds….really large diamonds. They looked quite nice with the dress, and the last touch was the comb. I placed it in my hair, and I smiled, as it was something of my own. Something no one could tell me when to wear, or how to wear. I returned to the central room, where I put on my shoes. They gave me about an inch boost in height. I hated heels. I'd rather walk barefoot then wear shoes at all, but that was, like everything else, un lady-like. I shook my head, and I knew something was missing. I glanced over to the desk and saw it. The diamond ring, catching the light from the lamp. As much as I didn't want to wear it, I knew Thomas would blow if I didn't, so I reluctantly put it on. I gave myself one final look in the mirror, and I decided that I was satisfied. I was about to relax, but I didn't realize the time. I heard a sharp rap on my door, and I walked over. It was Thomas, suit and all. He offered his arm, I shut the door, and we walked off the bridge.

"If I may say, you do look beautiful."

"You may not say, Thomas. I've had enough of you 'saying' things recently." I sighed, refusing to make eye contact.

"Darling, I'm sorry about what happened earlier! I lost my temper!" he said sharply.

"Don't call me darling! You don't mean it, and you never will!" I exclaimed, as we walked through the doors to A-Deck.

"I do too mean it! How do I convince you that I love you, and that alone is the reason you wear my ring!?"

"Don't lie to yourself, Thomas. It was arranged and you know it!"

"I'm not lying to myself, and you need to learn to accept the fact that we are getting married, and you have no power to stop it." he whispered softly, as we approached the doors.

"Mr. Andrews, Miss Petronsky." the steward nodded, opening the door. I was consumed by color. Everything was so grand, the dresses, oh, even I felt plain in mine! And my dress certainly was not even close to plain. _Well, do you like this girl? Even if you don't, you better get used to it, as this is what your life is doomed to become." _I thought to myself as Thomas sharply pulled me to the left to talk to someone he knew.

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	19. Party

**Disclaimer: Read One!**

**Chapter 19**

Meanwhile, three Officers stood in the corner, watching the life of the party, and talking amongst themselves.

"Hey! It's Kristen!"

"Damn….she looks good. Lights, how the heck did you recognize her?" Harry questioned.

"She's with Andrews, genius."

"Oh yeah, right. James?" Harry asked. James Moody didn't respond. He was too busy staring at me to realize that people were talking to him.

"Lad, try to keep your mouth off the floor and your eyes in your head, alright?" Lights laughed, as James' mouth was open slightly, and his eyes were huge. Harry laughed as well, and made a suggestion.

"Lights, we might need to get some water."

"Why on earth would we need water?" Lights inquired, looking at Harry strangely.

"In case James here faints." he laughed poking Moody in the shoulder to see if he'd fall over.

While all that was going on, I was with Thomas, mindlessly chatting with just about everyone in the room. It was so boring. I'd much rather be on the bridge, feeling the wind in my hair, and breathing the fresh air. The quartets began to play light and cheery music, and couples began to dance.

"Come darling." Thomas stated, leading me out onto the floor. He took me in his arms and we waltzed. It was when we were turned around that I sighted Harry, Lights, and James. I shot them a wink, as I didn't want Thomas to see, and they all smiled back at me. Except for James, whose eyes were pure green. I laughed, and it became even harder when Mrs. Murdoch went over to him.

"Let's go." she said, dragging him out. I saw Lights and Harry break down into laughter as poor James was forced to dance with Mrs. Murdoch.

**James' POV**

Oh no. Please, no. Not Mrs. Murdoch. Anybody but Mrs. Murdoch. She was repulsive! Utterly repulsive! And yet, she found me highly appealing.

"I see the way you look at her James."

"Look at who, how, Mrs. Murdoch?" I asked innocently, knowing very well what and who she was talking about.

"Don't play stupid, James. You know. If I was you, I would make the green a little less obvious."

I paid the awful woman no mind, and instead, shot up a look to Harry and Lights that screamed, _Help Me!_. They both smiled, and Harry looked to Lights, as neither of them wanted to dance with her either. Lights shook his head, and walked out to fetch the witch from me. When he tapped on my shoulder, I couldn't have walked away faster. I raced over to Kristen and Thomas, who were still dancing, and tapped on Andrews' shoulder, immediately regretting it. He turned, and smiled when he saw me.

"Ah, Mr. Moody, fine to see you again." Kristen smiled as she saw me.

"Yes, indeed fine." Thomas bid, trying to be at least a little pleasant.

"May I take her, Mr. Andrews?" I questioned politely. He nodded, as he turned her over. She was even more captivating in the light up close. I took her, and we danced.

"I saw you with Maria over there." she laughed.

"Oh, did you now?"

"Yes, it was rather amusing. You were glaring at her the whole time."

"I had a reason." I joked as I looked up. I saw her, grinning ear-to-ear in the corner of the room.

**Kristen's POV**

I saw James look up, obviously looking for Maria. She needed to be thrown overboard, along with her awful husband. I hated them. As the music stopped, I saw her make her way over to a woman standing by, and she whispered something to her. That woman looked appalled, then looked straight at us. _Oh no._ I thought, as I saw that woman tell someone else.

"I must go, James."

"Alright, I'll see you later." he replied.

I glanced up just in time to see Andrews talking to one of the women that Maria told. I saw his eyes go huge, then he glanced up at me and James. We looked back, ready to run if needed. Indeed, Thomas made his way over to us. Before I could say anything, James grabbed my hand, and we ran.

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	20. The Truth Hurts

**Disclaimer: Chapter 1**

**Chapter 20**

We ran like lightning with Thomas on our trail. I was in front of James, and I never dared to glance back. Not once. We raced around the whole ship, and up to the deck.

"Quick! Officer's quarters!" James shouted to me, as we got to the staircase. I scrambled up, and ran to my cabin. I waited until he was inside, then I shut the door and locked it.

"Phew!" I exclaimed.

" Oh that, evil, evil, evil woman! I'm going to…." James trailed before I silenced him.

"Don't there is nothing we can do about it." I sighed. "It's going to be what it's going to be."

"You're right, darling."

Back on the bridge, Andrews had just begun to walk up the stairs, when he was stopped by Pitman.

"I'm sorry sir, but no passengers are…"

"Get out of my way god dammit!" He shoved Pitman out of the way aggressively, and marched back to the quarters. He rapped on my door. James didn't say anything, just motioned me to him, with his arms open. I sank into them, afraid of what Thomas would do to us.

"It's alright. He wouldn't dare hurt you. I'll take most of it." James sighed.

"No! We're in this together!" I said, looking at him with the best sad eyes I could muster. Thomas rapped on the door once again, and James finally got up to answer it. He opened the door, only to get a punch in the face, stunning him for a moment.

"Kristen?! Darling?! Are you alright?! Did he hurt you?!' he asked, rushing over.

"No. Not at all."

"As for you….." he grumbled turning back to James.

"Thomas! No!"

"What did you just say to me?"

"I said no."

"I don't think so! Why shouldn't I beat him to a pulp?" Andrews screamed.

"Because I love him!" I shouted back. James looked up in surprise, and Thomas just glared.

"How dare you! How dare you defy me this way!" he said, furiously. He walked up to me, rose his hand, and slapped me across the face.

"Don' t touch her!"

I gasped slightly as the sting began to spread through my face. "What did you say, Mr. Moody?"

I said. Don't. Touch. Her." he repeated, standing up.

"Mr. Moody, you never cease to surprise me. Even when your job is at stake?"

"Yes, Mr. Andrews." he nodded.

"Well, too bad." Thomas said, grabbing my hand and dragging me out of the cabin, and down to the deck.

"Thomas! Let go! Let go!" I shouted.

"Why? I can't trust you."

"I'm not a child Thomas! Now let me go!"

"Well, you sure are acting like one."

"Me?! Acting like a child!? It's you that's being immature. You're jealous, that I love another man and I don't love you!" I exclaimed. He looked slightly taken aback, knowing I spoke the pure truth.

"That won't be the case soon, I'm telling you." he said. We stopped at his cabin door, and he pushed me in, slamming it behind us. "You need to learn to respect and honor me! Not James Moody! Me! I am the one you are to marry! I'm the one with the money!"

"Money isn't everything, Thomas." I hissed before walking out the door.

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	21. Letters

**Disclaimer: Chapter 1!**

**Chapter 21**

I stormed back up to the bridge, angered beyond belief. At the beginning, I felt that being engaged to Thomas Andrews couldn't be too horrific, but once again, I was wrong. Totally wrong. I walked past a very surprised Lights, who was now back from the party, and he just gave a confused look in my direction.

"Thomas, again?"

"Yes, he knows Lights. He knows!" I exclaimed, running over and hugging him.

"It's okay, we'll help you out. Thomas won't get his hands on you, ever again."

"That could be just a little hard."

"Why in the world would it be hard?"

"I'm his fiancée, of course it's going to be hard!"

"Well, you aren't going to marry him anytime soon, are you?" Lights asked.

"Good point. No, we're supposed to get married when we dock back in New York." I sighed.

"Well, there's still time. Why don't you get changed, and rest for awhile. I'll stay out here."

"Are you sure, Lights?" I asked, immediately feeling guilty.

"As sure as I'll ever be! Now, go!"

I nodded in thanks to him, and went back in my cabin to change.

**James' POV**

I kicked my dresser as I went back into my cabin. _That bastard! _I thought, as I sank down at my desk. I took out a few sheets of paper, and wrote to my brother.

_John-_

_I have never felt so happy in my life. The best things are around me, The sea, this ship, and a woman whom I love with my whole heart and soul. Yes, I'm sure you are saying 'Aw, James found a companion….finally', but this one is different. I think this actually has potential to go far. I'm sure you are wondering who she is, what she looks like, and all that. I will tell you the most surprising thing first. She is the Chief Officer, of this wonderful, beautiful ship. I know, you think: 'How can a woman become a Chief Officer?!'. To tell you the truth, I have no idea either. It shows how strong she truly is. She is the most beautiful woman you'll ever see. When we dock in New York, I'll bring her to see you, as I think the two of you would get along famously! She has a quick wit, and has an excellent sense of humor. She is kind, smart, and she takes everyone as a friend, even though they may not be. She would be the first to give up a seat out if it was a death matter, even for one of her enemies. It just shows what kind of person she really is. I look forward to seeing you again, and best wishes!_

_-James_

I sealed the letter in an envelope, and sighed, as I had no clue what to do next.

**Kristen's POV**

Disobeying Lights, I went back out to the bridge after I was back into my uniform. It was dark, yet my eyes had been trained to see well in that light. I was looking out at the black waters of the Atlantic, when I saw two figures. One lugging a tub, the other helping him carry it. _Fleet and Lee._ I thought. I rolled my eyes, and followed them. I was just about to climb the letter to the Crow's Nest, when I saw a familiar person. I looked closer, and I recognized Kady.

"Kady?" I asked, walking towards her.

"Kristen?" she asked back.

"Hi! It's so good to see you!" I exclaimed happily.

"You as well! How's being an Officer going?"

"Fine. The usual, I guess." I shrugged.

"Me too."

"aren't you supposed to be down at the party?" I asked, surprised that she wasn't.

"Supposed to be, but that doesn't mean anything." she laughed.

"No, it certainly doesn't." I replied. Then I sensed something. It was too quiet up in the Crow's Nest. I looked back, to see either fleet or Lee with a bomb up in his hand. He threw it, and I yanked Kady out of the way just in time, as a few seconds later, a water bomb slammed where she once stood.

"What was that?!"

"Fleet and Lee's signature. Water bombs. They throw them at any helpless passenger who is talking to an Officer." I rolled my eyes. She just laughed.

"I have never heard of such a thing!"

"They use sea water as well. The only way I could stop them would be to throw them both overboard."

"Why don't you do it then?" Kady asked.

"I wish I could, but I like my job a lot."

"Oh, yes, that's true. I must go though. They will all be looking for me."

"Bye, it was good to see you!"

"You as well!" she replied walking away. After she was gone, I glanced up at the Crow's Nest. _Those two had better watch themselves._ I thought.


	22. Revenge

Disclaimer: Chapter 1! Be sure to check out my co-write with Irish Story Teller, _Of Crew and Water Bombs_!

**Chapter 22**

After my conversation with Kady, I went back up to the bridge for another very boring night watch. There was no wind, no stars, no icebergs, nothing. By midnight, I collapsed into my bed, and had another good sleep. To my surprise, I woke up completely on my own at about 7:30, which was rare. I donned the uniform, and yawned as I went up to the bridge. Pitman and Boxhall were on. I wasn't even given a good morning, but I didn't expect it. After checking that everything was running smoothly, I went to the Mess to get some coffee and breakfast. I saw James and Harry, lounging at the table, and Lights, just laughing at them.

"Morning boys."

"Morning, Kristen." they all said flatly.

"I trust that you all got a good sleep?"

"Mhm….first one in a long time." Lights smiled as he sat with the two Junior Officers. I laughed and went over to get my coffee. "Oh! Are you going to dinner with Smith tonight?"

"I highly doubt it. Remember my gender?" I asked.

"Of course we do, we think you should go."

"Thank you, Harry, but I am really not in the mood to deal with Thomas again." I sighed, walking over to everyone, and taking a seat with them.

"Oh, right. I'm sorry."

"That's alright, Harry. How was your shift this morning?"

"Slow, just like yours. We need something interesting!"

"Well, let's hope that it's a good thing." James said, finally inputting into the conversation.

"I talked to Kady last night, Lights."

"You did!? How is she?"

"She's fine. Almost got hit with a water bomb though. I swear, those two need to get a little lecture on behavior when you are on a ship with high society!"

"I agree. Who's gonna do it?"

"Not me!" James and I said at the same time.

"It's not a matter of _who _is going to do it, I think it's a matter of giving them a taste of their own medicine, or inventing a weapon to get back at them." Lights replied.

"Ooooh, that's good! What though?" Harold questioned, with a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

"Well, what do we have a lot of?"

"Hm……..Kristen? Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Yes James, I do believe so." I replied, before walking out of the Mess and into my cabin to find my large jar of face powder. When I walked back into the Mess, Harry and Lights smiled huge smiles.

"You two are brilliant!" Lights replied, rising, grabbing some wrappers, and sitting back down. We all began to stuff the wrappers with face powder, making for a nasty weapon.

"This stuff smells really good!" Harry exclaimed, to receive a laugh from James.

"Well, I grabbed the perfumed jar. I have another jar that isn't. The perfume stays on for a long time too, so if we hit Fleet and Lee, they'll smell like roses!"

"Oh, I can't wait!" Lights snickered. After 15 minutes, we had about 20 powder bombs made. We walked on to the bridge with extreme confidence, knowing that we could get the lookouts back.

"I believe it is time for us to take over, Mr. Boxhall." James said, tapping him on the shoulder.

"Yes, have a good shift, James. Herb! Let's go!"

The two men proceeded off the bridge, leaving room for James and I. We took over, checking speed, and temperatures.

"Oh, Kristen!" Bride sang.

"Yes Bride?" I sang back.

"I just talked with Mr. Andrews, and he wants you and James at his suite right after your shift, at noon."

"Thank you. How are things in the Macaroni Room?" I asked, watching behind the young wireless operator as Lights was sneaking to the Crow's Nest with a powder bomb.

"Fine, we are heavily bombarded daily by passenger messages. They just like to hear us groan. Oh! Mr. Moody! How are you?"

"Quite well, thank you." James replied, smiling at me.

"Just so you know, after your shift, you and Kristen have to go visit Mr. Andrews. Best of luck. I hear he has quite a temper." Bride warned.

"Thanks, we will watch our backs."

"AH-CHOO!!!!!" A loud sneeze erupted from the Crow's Nest, and James and I broke out into hilarious fits of laughter. Bride just looked at us like we were nuts. In my excitement, I ran onto the walkway to see a very white-faced Fleet. That made me laugh even harder.

"Was that Fleet?" James asked, rushing out next to me.

"Yes! Nice shot Lights!" I exclaimed, giving him a high-five, as he stumbled up onto the bridge, laughing. We were all so happy, and carefree at the moment, that all troubles, especially Andrews, disappeared.

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Please read the co-write! Kristen Petronsky and the water bombs are in it!


	23. Facing the Music

**Disclaimer: Chapter 1!**

**Chapter 23**

As the minutes ticked away, I became even more restless. _What will he do to me? What will he do to James? _I thought. I tried to push it through my mind, but it wouldn't leave. Before I knew it, I was tapped on the shoulder by Lowe. I sighed heavily, and met James by the doorway. We silently proceeded to Thomas' suite. I was the brave one, and knocked on the door. Thomas answered. "Kristen. You first. James, wait outside, please." After I was in the room, he shut the door, and looked at me.

"What?" I asked.

"I can't believe it."

"Thomas, I'm sorry." I replied, actually feeling sorry for the man.

"There isn't anything you can do, I will talk to the lad about it. Please, ask him in."

I walked over to the door, and asked James to come. He came, and shut the door behind him.

"Now, lad, I understand that you have feelings for my fiancée, and we are going to work this out like gentlemen, understood?"

"Yes, sir."

"Now, you are very well informed, that Kristen is my fiancée, and we are to be married after this ship docks. I feel that you have committed a serious crime by doing this. I should have you delivered to the Master-At-Arms. But, I won't. I have chosen to talk with you instead."

"Thank you, I appreciate it."

"Yes, I thought you would. Now, about the situation at hand. I think that we should discuss the potential outcomes of this. In simpler terms, if I send you with her, or if I keep her." Andrews stated.

"Okay." James agreed.

"Now, if I keep her, there are many things that would be beneficial on her part. The first, I can provide her with anything she wishes. The second, I can love her until we both die. The third, she'll have a good roof over her head, and a loving family." Andrews smiled.

"Well, sir, I understand, but I think we should take Kristen's wishes into consideration. It's her life that's being affected the most." James said, calmly, although anger was boiling up inside him.

"No, we don't need her input. WE are dealing with this. She's a good girl, she'll accept whatever we give her, right darling?" Andrews turned to me, with a smile.

"Of course, Thomas." I smiled. James saw the hurt in my eyes. He was even more determined to fight for me. Unlike the fake smile I gave to Andrews, I gave a real one to James.

"Alright, James. Your turn."

"Well, I love her with my whole self, if not more. And judging by your actions, you obviously don't." James huffed.

"How dare you say I don't love her?! Of course I love her!"

"Well then you would have actually paid attention to her! You would have known she wasn't happy! You would have known she didn't want to marry you!" James fought back.

"How dare you! You're just an Officer! You have nothing! Nothing at all!"

I was taken aback by his comment. I couldn't stand it, so I charged into the argument. "Money isn't everything, Thomas!" I hissed. Andrews gasped at the hostility of my tone, and he knew I meant it.

"Stay out of this! It isn't your place!"

"It is too her place! It's her life!" James shot back at Thomas.

"She is not in this, and that is final! Kristen, go!" Andrews ordered.

I walked out of the door, to see Lights and Lowe. I ran into them, and they both hugged me.

"We heard. That got pretty nasty." Lowe admitted.

"We'll stay with you." Lights smiled.

"Thanks guys." I sighed.

We stood outside the suite for an hour, listening to them fight, and argue. We waited for the decision that would shape the rest of my life. After awhile, they both came out.

"The decision has been made." Thomas sighed.

"Yes, it has." James remarked.

"We have discussed everything, and every way this could go. James, would you like to tell her?" Thomas asked with a hint of a grin on his face.

James walked over and hugged me. "I'm sorry. I fought as hard as I could. He took you from me."

I glared at Thomas. "How could you?"

"Darling, you know very well that money was…."

"I don't want to hear it Thomas! I never want to hear that word again! How could you make me unhappy?!" I cried.

"It won't be for very long, because as of this time tomorrow, you will be my wife." Thomas hissed before shutting us in the hall.


	24. The Dress

**Disclaimer: Chapter 1! Check out the co-write!**

**Chapter 24**

I stared at the now closed door with my mouth slightly open. _How could he?! _I wondered. A solitary tear slid down my cheek, and I just walked away. Walked away from that room, from Thomas, from James, from trouble. I passed Pitman and Boxhall on the bridge, and I retired to my cabin. I dropped down on my bed, and let it all slip. I wanted to go back in time, to that awful day when I agreed to marry him.

"_Darling, as you know, our situation is dire! Mister Andrews has been very kind and generous to offer his hand to you!"_

"_Mother, I don't love him!" I shot back._

"_Kristen! He knows the sea, ships! You love them both!"_

"_The only men that truly know the sea are the Officers and the Captain! I would take either one any day!"_

"_They are poor Kristen. They have nothing. WE have nothing!"_

"_I have a heart. That is what I have." I said, trying to harness the boiling anger inside me._

"_Your heart can do nothing for you. Do it for me, darling. Please. You know how much I love you! I want what's best for you!"_

"_If you believe that this is the best for me, then you are not the woman I know as my mother! You've never been the same since Father died!"_

"_Do not bring your Father into this!" Mother cried, obviously hurt by my words._

"_Mother! It's the truth! You'll do nothing lying to yourself like that!" She let out a breath as she nodded._

"_I have dreamed since I was a little girl, Mother. You want to destroy it?!"_

"_Your dreams can do nothing for you now." Mother said, walking out of the room. I followed, not knowing what to do, or what to say. "We accept your offer, Mister Andrews." _

I shook my head. I didn't even choose. She did. She chose him for me. I had no say. Nothing about my future, nothing about what I felt like.

No one ever cared, except for Uncle Lou and Father. Father always wanted me to go after my dreams, even if it meant marrying a poor man. I was interrupted by a knock on my door. "It's open." A stewardess appeared before me.

"Your dress, miss."

I walked over to receive the parcel. "Thank you." The young girl curtsied before leaving.. I shut the door so I could examine it. I removed the cover, and I saw a beautiful wedding gown before me. Its straps were on the side, in almost a shawl over the strapless top. The skirt was flowing, with very little embroidery. I cringed when I saw the waist. Tinier than tiny. Worse than my party dress. I placed the dress aside, and saw the jewelry. A necklace, diamonds, they spread away from the traditional circle, and went down in a straight line at the middle. The earrings matched, a straight line. The veil was simple, a small line of diamonds that went on a bun, and the veil went under. I was just about ready to cry. I couldn't do it. I saw my whole life in that dress. My new life. Parties, balls, galas. I wanted my life as it was. The sea, friends, not society. Regretting every small step I took, I walked over to my corset. I picked it up, and put it on. I tried to tighten it myself, when I heard a knock on my door.

"Kristen, it's Lights. Can I come in for a moment?"

"Sure. It's open."

I turned to face the mirror.

"Excuse me for my state, Mr. Lightoller. Can you tighten?"

"Of course, dear." he responded, grabbing the laces in the back. He pulled, tightened, pulled, and tightened. "Tighter?" he asked, once he reached the previous spot that he tightened to.

"So it fits that dress over there." I told him, nudging my head towards it.

"Wow….okay."

He continued to tighten, until he could fit his large hands around my waist. "Thanks, Lights. I must try this dress on. Is there something you came to talk with me about?"

"Well, I was just going to say 'congratulations' about you and Andrews, but you obviously aren't happy about it."

"Thanks, and you are right. It isn't fair, Lights! They treat us like animals! Lock us up in cages! It's not fair!"

"I know it's not fair. I've always hated how women were treated. You aren't animals, you're humans like the rest of us." Lights agreed.

I nodded, as I put the dress on. A perfect fit in waist, and everywhere else. I sighed as I looked in the mirror. It was beautiful, I had to admit. I grabbed the jewelry, and also put that on. I turned to face Lights, and he gasped.

"Excuse my use of terminology, Kristen, but my God you look gorgeous."

I laughed, "Thanks Lights."

"Yes, and Mr. Moody will think so as well, I'm sure of it."

"That won't do much. I'm doomed to be Mrs. Andrews."

"Did I just hear our Chief Officer give up?"

"No, I just……..yes." I sighed.

"Don't worry about it. You never know what could happen. Excuse me, I must leave, see you later, Kristen." Lights nodded before exiting. I turned to look back in the mirror and sighed at the perfect figure before me. _You never know what could happen._ I thought as for once, a smile crossed my face.

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	25. Maybe?

**Disclaimer: Chapter 1! Co-write!**

**Chapter 25**

I stood there for a few more moments, looking in the mirror, before I decided to take my gown off. It surprisingly only took me a few moments to undress, and out on the good ol' uniform. I looked in the mirror once more, and I liked the reflection I saw. I went up to the bridge to smell the pungent scent of roses in the air. I noticed Fleet and Lee, stumbling through the wheelhouse.

"Boys? Are you alright?"

"Yes, we're fine."

"Sure don't smell like it." I replied slyly.

I received a glare from both the lookouts as I laughed. "You two need to go wash off. The shower should be open. By all means use it."

"Gladly." Fleet smirked.

I laughed as the two of them went in the opposite direction, as James returned to the bridge. He came over, and kissed me, out in the open, no warning, nothing.

"James! You'll get us in trouble! You'll get fired!"

"Nothing we can do about it. Andrews is looking for you. He wants to speak with his 'new wife'." James said the last two words scornfully. I smiled up at him.

"Thank you."

I stomped off the bridge, and began the long trek down to Thomas' cabin. I knocked on the door, and he let me in with a smile.

"Darling, I wanted to talk with you."

"What?" I asked, not sharply, yet with an edge.

"Just wanted to talk about typical marriage things. House, children, travel, etc."

My heart stopped when I heard that word. _Children. _I had completely forgotten.

"Darling, are you alright?" Thomas asked.

"Yes, Thomas, fine. Just about the children part." I tried to smile.

"Hm…about that…I was thinking six. Or until three boys." he replied while pouring a drink for himself.

I gulped. "S-s-six?"

"Yes, is that alright?" he asked, turning around to face me.

"Well-I--I don't know, I wasn't expecting children anytime soon. I'm not suited to be a mother Thomas."

"Yes you are. You are sweet, beautiful, nurturing, caring, the ideal mother. Children love you! I've seen them!"

"Thank you, Thomas. How soon are you asking this of me?"

"As soon as possible."

I closed my eyes for a moment, just to take it all in. I knew what this life would bring me, I had just forgotten the children part.

"Care for something to drink?"

"Yes, please! Champagne."

Thomas looked surprised that I accepted his offer, but nevertheless, he poured a generous glass and gave it to me. I sat down on the little couch, and he sat next to me. "Darling, I know that you aren't very fond of the idea of having children, it's a necessity for the name and fortune to live on!"

"I know, Thomas. Could you give me a year, maybe a few months, not right after?"

"Of course. Take as much time as you need." Thomas smiled. "Now, about the houses. In America, we have a manor, which will be our temporary residence until the ship sails back to England. In Ireland we have a larger manor. In the American one, we have servants, cooks, and it is fully equipped. As well as Ireland.

They have been informed of your arrival as my wife, and preparations are being made as we speak now."

I nodded. Manors. Boy, my life was going to change. "Yes. What about travel, you mentioned that."

"Ah yes. Travel. Harland and Wolff gives me vacations, lots of them. You can choose wherever we go."

"Alright. Somewhere warm, somewhere pretty." I sighed.

"Ah, yes. Somewhere romantic as well. It will be nice to have you with me on holiday."

"It will be nice to have a holiday, period." I laughed. He laughed as well.

"You know what I love about you?" He asked, taking one of my hands in his.

"What?"

"The fact that you can always laugh, and always smile. You care about the world and the people in it, not just yourself. You're a special woman, and I'm lucky to have you."

"Thank you, Thomas."

"I have to admit, I wasn't so sure about you when I first proposed my offer, but now I know I did the right thing. I forgive you. Not the lad, but you."

"I don't deserve forgiveness. Not after what I did to you."

He out a finger on my chin and turned my face towards him. He smiled a gentle smile, and he said: "I love you, and I forgive you. I'm serious."

"Alright. I still feel bad though."

"What can I do to make it up to you?"

"Nothing. I don't need anything."

"Yes, you do." he smiled.

"No! I don't!"

"Yes!" he insisted.

"No!" I laughed.

"Have it your way. Do you have shift now?"

"No, why?"

"Would you care to roam about for a bit, and see how people are liking the voyage?"

"Sure." I responded.

_Maybe this isn't going to be that bad after all. _I thought to myself as we walked, arm in arm, out the door.


	26. Jess and Lissy

**Disclaimer: Chapter 1! Jessica Michaelson and her mother are mine as well. Co-write!**

**Chapter 26**

Thomas and I strolled around for a bit, asking the various passerby what they thought of the ship, the voyage, and every little last thing down to if the sheets smelled good. I laughed to myself. _Honestly, who really cares?!_

"If I may make a suggestion, Thomas."

"Go right ahead."

"Make the Officer's quarters bigger. My cabin and the other senior officers' are fine. Mister Lowe's and Mister Moody's are the size of cupboards! We have so much room on this ship, why not use it. Turn the First-Class writing room into more staterooms! No one ever uses it! Make the Third-Class passengers able to access more areas! Add more lifeboats!"

"I can't add more lifeboats, dear."

"And why can't you?" I questioned sharply.

"I wanted to have an extra row on the inside, but people thought the deck would look too crowded. I was overruled."

"Besides, this ship is unsinkable! We don't need any lifeboats in the first place!" I heard a voice call behind me. The very annoying, high-pitched voice of J. Bruce Ismay.

"Great." I muttered under my breath. Thomas turned around to greet the foul man.

"Ah, good to see you Mister Ismay." Thomas forced a smile.

"You as well, Mister Andrews, and the lovely Miss Petronsky, as always."

"Pleasure to see you again." I smiled falsely. Lately, a lot of the things I've been doing have been false. Put it that way.

"It was stupid to even put these space hoggers on in the first place!" Ismay exclaimed, hitting one of the boats with his walking stick.

"Well, in case of emergency-"

"There is no emergency! She's unsinkable! Nothing could sink her!"

"An iceberg could, sir." I stated simply.

"No! Nothing can!"

"Alright then, whatever you want to think…"

"How dare you speak to me in this manner! You, you are a woman! You aren't supposed to know how to converse with men, you aren't supposed to know how to do the things you know how to do."

"With all due respect, Mister Ismay, women don't sit around complaining all day. I must be off." I said before walking away. As soon as my back was turned, a wicked grin crossed my face.

Ismay was astounded, speechless. "She tells the truth, you know." Andrews admitted before he too, walked away.

I arrived back at the bridge to find Lights and Harry.

"Hi! Back already!?"

"Yep, he didn't have to say much, besides the fact that he wants six children." I replied, while updating the log.

"Six?!" I heard Lights exclaimed.

"Painful." Harold grimaced.

"You are a man, you wouldn't know."

"My mother's told me that I wasn't worth labor." Harry sighed.

"That you aren't." Lights joked.

I laughed as the two boys went at it. "Boys, I do believe, if I'm not mistaken, that you have work to do."

"Yes miss." They sighed before returning to their duties.

I smiled as I proceeded to the Mess for a snack. When I opened the door, I saw James.

"Back already?" he inquired, sitting up properly.

"Yes." I replied, flopping down into the chair opposite him.

"What did he have to say?"

"Nothing besides the fact that he wants at least six children, and more if he doesn't get three boys."

"Six?!"

"That's the same thing Lights said. Argh! I don't want kids yet! I'd be a really bad mother! I'm away from home too often!" I exclaimed.

James reached across the table, and took my hands in his. "I think you'd be a great mom. Who knows, maybe a daughter will end up just like her mother."

"In love with a Moody? No, probably not." I sighed. "What about your sons?"

"I'd have to keep them away from your girls so they don't end up like their father, in love with a Petronsky." James laughed.

"That could be dangerous. I think one Moody, Petronsky pairing is quite enough for now."

"I'd have to agree with you. I'm surprised that Lights and Harry can tolerate us."

"They can tolerate me, and they tolerate you because I rank them and give the orders around here."

"Probably the truth." James said.

A knock sounded at the door. It was Harold. "Kristen, someone's here to see you."

"Ok?" I asked, surprised. I got up, and walked to the wheelhouse, with James following, where I saw a red-haired woman holding a little girl's hand.

"Lissy?" I asked, not believing what I saw before me.

The young girl bolted over and hugged me. I squatted down so I could hug her back, and said: "I've been so worried about you! Look at you! How you've grown! All these years!"

"You too. I missed you, Krissy."

"I did. So much. You don't know." I replied, squeezing the life out of my little sister. After I was done, I rose up, and turned my attention to the woman. "Jess?"

She just nodded. I ran over, and hugged her.

"Okay, family reunion. Who's who?" James laughed.

"Oh, sorry James. This is my good friend Jess Michaelson."

"Pleasure, miss."

"And my little sister, Lissy." James knelt so he could look at the young girl.

"She looks just like you, Kristen. How old are you?"

"Eight." she bragged, obviously excited about her age.

"Eight?! You're practically a lady! Pleasure to meet you, Miss Petronsky." he replied, taking her hand and kissing it.

I smiled. "Where are you staying?"

"Third-Class. We got tickets last minute. Fortunate to be on this ship though."

"I'll be sure to visit." I nodded.

"Lissy, time to go!" Jess called.

"Aw, do we have to?"

"Yes, now come on." Jess motioned. Lissy took her hand.

"Now, come back and see me whenever you want, alright?" I told her.

She nodded, showing me she understood. "I'll be down as soon as I can. I'm sure I'll see you. Until then." I told Jess, hugging her. She smiled back, and the two of them walked hand-in-hand, out of the wheelhouse.

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	27. Heart To Heart

Disclaimer: Chapter 1! Co-write!

Chapter 27

**James laughed lightly. **

"**What?"**

"**She looks just like you. Same beautiful blue eyes." he said, smiling at me.**

"**I haven't seen her since she was a baby. I left home so early. I'm surprised she remembered me."**

"**No one could forget you, darling."**

"**Is that good or bad?" I joked.**

"**To me, good, to Murdoch, bad. How bad did you crush him in nautical school?"**

"**Pretty badly. I don't think he'd appreciate it if I told you."**

"**THAT bad?"**

**I just nodded, and Harold came over to us. "That was your little sister?"**

"**Yep."**

"**She's so cute!" Harry exclaimed, in a higher-pitched voice.**

**James gave him a look that said it all. "And she is how many years younger than you?"**

"**Not in that way, you dolt!" **

**I laughed at the boys. "You two are starting to scare me. You are beginning to remind me of Fleet and Lee."**

"**Was that an insult?"**

**I just nodded as I walked away. I decided to take a stroll by myself, just relaxing, enjoying the fresh air that was filling my lungs. I froze time for myself. I took time to realize how good my life really was, and how it was going to change. **_**Just because you're marrying Andrews doesn't mean that you change yourself. Just because he tries to break your spirit doesn't mean he will. Just because you're married to him doesn't mean you'll ever stop being you. The same, strong-willed, temperamental old maid with a knack for sailing. **_**I laughed to myself as I thought the last sentence. It was the truth. I refused to be a woman with no say. I refused to be a little dog that obeyed everything Master said or ordered. I looked out over the ocean, and I heard a voice behind me.**

"**Kristen?"**

**I recognized James. I turned to smile at him. He walked up next to me, and took me in his arms.**

"**Tomorrow is going to be the worst day of my life, you know that."**

"**I know. If I could stop it, I would. I would throw away everything because I want to spend the rest of my time here with you." I sighed, looking at him.**

"**As do I, but I'm just a sailor, anyways."**

"**So am I, James."**

"**I have nothing. Nothing at all. I couldn't provide you with the life you deserve. You are an amazing woman, and deserve the best life that is offered to you!"**

"**It doesn't matter to me, James! Ever since I was a little girl, I had my mind set on marrying for love! Not money! Love!" I exclaimed.**

"**I tried! I couldn't get you! He stole you from me!"**

**I felt a tear slide down my cheek, only for it to be kissed away by James.**

"**Don't cry. Let's enjoy the time we have." he smiled. He pulled me tighter into him. I felt as if I was trapped. It was a different feeling though. I enjoyed it.**

"**I love you. If Thomas tries to take away everything I have, he can never take that away." I said, still crying a bit.**

"**I love you more than words themselves could explain. I want you to always remember that, no matter what happens. No matter where we are."**

"**And I always will. You can count on it."**

**James lifted my chin up with a finger, and kissed me softly. It lasted for awhile, before I broke it apart.**

"**We can't have ourselves getting fired, now can we?"**

**James laughed, and held my hand as we walked back up to the bridge. It was when we were about to enter the wheelhouse when we were hit with a ceramic-colored sticky substance. I exhaled sharply as I looked to the Crow's Nest.**

"**How do you like our Gunk Bombs?!" I heard Lee shout.**

**I sniffed them, and they smelled like roses. I laughed.**

"**What could possibly be funny!?"**

"**Those idiots. They combined Powder Bombs and Water Bombs to get, voila, Gunk Bombs."**

**James also broke out into fits of laughter. "They are brilliant, you two!"**

**As we proceeded into the wheelhouse, Lights was there. He looked at us strangely.**

"**Don't tell me. They combined the Powder and the Water Bombs."**

"**Genius, Lights. Crazy what goes on up there in the Loony Bin. It smells pretty good, actually." James admitted.**

"**Oh! Stop it! Now come on! Let's get this stuff washed off!" I replied. "You had better watch yourself, Lights."**

"**I will, don't worry." He smiled a devilish grin up at the Crow's Nest.**

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	28. Catapult

_Disclaimer: Chapter 1!_

_Chapter 28_

_**Lights thought deeply. What could he possibly do to those lookouts? He knew it would have to be foolproof, the problem was thinking about it. He'd ask James, Kristen, and Harold when he saw them next.**_

_**I was still laughing as James and I walked into my cabin. I went over to the bathroom, and prepared two wet rags. **_

"_**Catch!" I laughed, throwing the towel at James.**_

"_**Wow! That's cold!" he exclaimed as the water hit him.**_

_**I looked at him pathetically. "Oh, please don't disgrace the water bombs."**_

_**James laughed as he wiped the gunk off his uniform. I began to do the same, and despite their efforts, the stuff didn't come out. I groaned as I saw the big splotch on my shoulder.**_

_**James looked towards the door, as he kept hearing footsteps running back and forth from the Mess Hall.**_

"_**What is that?"**_

"_**What's what?" I asked, looking up.**_

"_**What's that noise?"**_

"_**What noise?"**_

"_**The footsteps in the hall!" James exclaimed.**_

"_**I don't hear anything."**_

"_**You're crazy."**_

_**I listened hard, waiting for a sound, a mouse to scurry across the floor, the wind to whistle, anything.**_

"_**James, darling, I don't hear anything." I admitted for the last time.**_

"_**This uniform is as good as it's going to get. What about you?"**_

"_**I agree. Here, I'll take it." I offered. He handed me the rag, and I wrung them out in the bathroom sink. After hanging them over a rod for drying, I went back into the cabin. "Bridge?"**_

"_**Sure." he responded. He opened the door for me, and we walked up to the bridge to see a rather happy Lights, standing beside an interesting looking object.**_

"_**Lights? Would you care to inform me of why there is a potentially dangerous object in direct sight from the Captain's office?" I asked. James just laughed, and so did Lights.**_

"_**May I introduce the gadget that will stop those boys once and for all!" He moved aside to completely reveal the object. It looked a lot like a catapult.**_

"_**Is that a catapult?" I asked, eyes wide.**_

"_**Indeed, it is. Meant to launch any sort of food you can imagine. I haven't even mentioned the best part!"**_

"_**I don't think it could possibly get better, Lights." James laughed.**_

"_**Would you care to take a look at where it is aimed?"**_

_**I curiously walked over, and traced the invisible line with my eyes. The Crow's Nest.**_

"_**Brilliant, Lights! Can I test it?!" James asked, with excitement in his voice like a young child on Christmas morning.**_

"_**Okay, just don't break anything." Lights replied, pulling a red apple out of his pocket.**_

_**James took it, and loaded up the catapult. When he flung it, it flew, and hit the exact mark. The back of Fleet's head.**_

"_**ACK! What was that?!" he exclaimed, rubbing the back of his head.**_

_**When Lee noticed the apple, he bent over, and promptly showed it to Fleet.**_

"_**Where do you think it came from?"**_

_**Lee nudged his chin towards the bridge, and Fleet saw three officers, laughing hysterically.**_

"_**Oh! I'm going to get them for this!" Fleet hissed, grabbing a water bomb, and throwing it. To his surprise, James caught it, and it didn't break.**_

"_**Yes!" James exclaimed. "Is that a food only catapult?"**_

"_**Oh, James, you're on a roll! Go ahead!" Lights offered.**_

"_**Boys……." I trailed.**_

_**I was ignored, as James placed the water bomb into the catapult. He once again launched it, and, it hit Fleet at full speed. He screamed, and Lee just laughed.**_

_**On the bridge, Lights high-fived James. "Direct hit!"**_

"_**Boys!" I yelled.**_

"_**Yes?"**_

"_**If you two get in trouble, it's not my fault! You are supposed to be working, not using this nonsense!"**_

"_**Yes mother." James replied, mimicking a small child. I just raised an eyebrow at him.**_

"_**Oh come on, can't boys have their fun?"**_

"_**Yes, they can, when Mommy's not around." I smiled before walking out of the wheelhouse.**_

"_**Does this count?!"**_

"_**Is Mommy around?" I shouted back.**_

"_**Yahoo! I'll go get more apples!" James exclaimed, running to retrieve the objects.**_

_**Lights laughed as the younger Officer ran back.**_

"_**I am sorry to say, Lee, but I do believe that we have been met by our match."**_

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_**I put this in to sort of get Kristen's mind off the wedding, and to have a good light-hearted segment! I hope you all enjoyed! Thanks for reviews! **__**J**_


	29. A Dream of What's To Come

**Disclaimer: Chapter 1! Co-write!**

**Chapter 29**

"Fleet, that is impossible!"

"They have a catapult, what can we do to top that?!

"I don't know exactly, but keep in mind that _I_ came up with the water bombs in the first place!" Fleet boasted.

"No, I did!"

"I did!"

"It was me!"

"No, me!"

I was standing outside, trying to get a bit of relaxation, and getting away from my babysitting job. They were grown men in numbers, but in heart they were two year olds! My train of thought was interrupted by an obnoxious yelling match from the Crow's Nest, or the 'Loony Bin' as James likes to call it. As much as I tried to blot it out, I couldn't, so, being a Chief Officer with a temper, I marched right up there to give them a little talking to. I rapped on the trap door, and as soon as Lee opened his mouth to say 'Wicked Witch!', I cut him off.

"I am not in the mood for funny business, Reginald." I remarked sourly. They both knew very well not to say anything as I was helped in, because they both knew that whenever I used their first names, I was not happy. "Now what is all this racket about?"

"Just a little debate about who invented the water bombs, Miss."

"Does it really matter?" I pleaded.

"Well, yes, because whoever gets the credit gets the glory."

"Or the trouble." I shot. They both looked at me strangely. "If I decide to tell Mister Ismay about this business, whoever has credit would get fired."

"You wouldn't!' Fleet gasped.

I shrugged my shoulders in a teasing fashion.

"He did it!" Both shouted at the same time, pointing to each other.

I laughed and replied: "I'm not going to tell Ismay. I just enjoy seeing you squirm. But please, could you keep it down a bit? I have a pounding headache."

"Oh, sorry. We will." Fleet nodded, before helping me out. I descended the ladder, and walked onto the bridge rubbing my head.

"Something wrong Kristen?" Lights asked, turning away from his contraption.

"Oh, no. I just have a pounding headache. Do you mind if I go lie down?"

"Of course not."

I nodded in thanks as I went into my cabin. I was overly-excited to feel the mattress against my back. I spread out like a starfish, and closed my eyes. Pretty soon, I was fast asleep. I dreamt about the worst possible thing currently on my mind. My wedding.

"_Do you, Thomas Andrews, take Kristen to be your lawful wedded wife, to honor and to cherish her, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"_

_Thomas looked at me and smiled. "I do."_

"_And do you, Kristen Petronsky, take Thomas to be your lawful wedded husband, to honor and to cherish him, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"_

_I gulped as tears ran down my cheek. I remembered my life the past few days. James, Lissy, Mother, Jess. I remembered the promise I made to Mother, but also the one I made to my Father, all those years ago. No matter what choice I made, I would break one of them. I refused to make myself a simple wife that sewed, cooked, cleaned, had children. I wanted to be more, but it couldn't be done._

"_I do." I said, finally._

"_I pronounce you Man, and wife. You may kiss your bride."_

I woke with a start. _This is your fate, you have to just accept it!_ I thought. My mind was spinning with questions I didn't know how to answer. I needed family. I finally decided to go see Jess and Lissy. It would cheer me up. I whizzed out of my room and off the bridge, not bothering to tell Lights and James where I was going. I scaled the staircases until I got down to the Third Class area. The steward guarding the gates let me in. I gave him a brief nod, before continuing on. I had always thought those gates were a bad idea. I had a gut feeling that they would cause problems in the future. I shrugged it off, and decided to go into the General Room with a light heart. I smiled when I saw Jess and Lissy sitting down, reading.

"Krissy!" she shouted, running over to me.

Jess smiled as she picked up the book that was dropped, and placed it on the table before coming over to me. I hugged my little sister, as I was still getting over the fact that they were going to America. I hugged Jess as well, and we went back to her cabin to talk.

"Sorry, it's a bit cramped." she told me, moving things off a lower bunk so I could sit.

"Please, it's fine! You should see James' cabin! It's the size of a cupboard!' I exclaimed, sitting down. Jess sat across from me, and Lissy jumped up with her.

I smiled at them.

"I know when you aren't telling me something, Kristen, and there is definitely something you are keeping hidden."

I sighed, and I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came.

"That bad, huh?" Jess smiled.

"I'm getting married tomorrow!"

"What? That's wonderful!" Jess exclaimed as the smile grew even bigger.

"Not so! It was arranged, Jess! Mother did it before we left on this voyage! He's in love with me, but I don't love him, and I love another man!"

Jess made a face. "Who could be THAT bad to marry?"

"Thomas Andrews."

Her eyes nearly popped out of her head. "What?!"

I just nodded solemnly.

"Don't you see the opportunity there?! You marry him, you'll be rich! You'll have whatever you wish for, all the money in the world!"

"I hate that word." I sighed.

"What, money?"

"Yes, money! Everything has been money, money, money lately!"

"Oh come on Kristen, lighten up! It can't be that awful!" Jess added. Trying to help a helpless situation.

"Did I mention the fact that he wants six children?" I smiled falsely with a sarcastic note in my voice.

"Six?!"

"That's what I said, isn't it?"

"I heard you well, but that number?!"

"Yes. I didn't have any say at all. And at six, if we don't have three boys, he wants more."

Jess laughed.

"What could possibly be funny!?"

"The look on your face!" she exclaimed, pointing at me.

I scowled a tad, yet began to smile, as she continued to laugh her contagious laugh. Pretty soon, I caught the bug, and was laughing as well.

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	30. Father For a Day

**Disclaimer: Chapter 1! Co-write! Edward Petronsky is also mine.**

**Chapter 30**

We laughed for at least five minutes, and at that point my little sister was looking at us strangely.

"Are you okay, Jessy?"

"Yes, fine. Now, can you do something for me?"

"Sure." Lissy responded in her high-pitched, eight-year-old voice.

"Can you go draw me a picture?"

"Mhm."

"Go in that room over there." Jess smiled.

"Why?"

"Because I said so."

"Fine." Lissy grumbled, grabbing the pencil and piece of paper Jess was offering to her. Once she had shut the door, Jess leaned in close to me and spoke quietly.

"I couldn't say this around her, When you get married, what's going to happen? You know the court only granted me until I was 22!"

"I know, Jess, I know! Alright?! Things got complicated!"

"Too complicated to care for your sister?"

"I wanted what's best for her! I am dirt poor! I have nothing! I can barely provide for myself let alone my little sister!"

"Not after tomorrow! You'll be one of the richest women in the world!' Jess retorted.

"You don't turn 22 for awhile!"

"A month."

"Alright, fine! A month." I shot back.

"I can't keep her after that! That's what I'm saying!"

"Oh, please! She doesn't even like me! She doesn't know me! She's nothing like me!"

"For God sakes she's your sister!"

"That she is! She's 15 years younger than me! The month after she was born I went off to the Academy!"

"Does that matter??!"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, it does!"

"You've changed, you're stuck up, selfish, and a brat!" Jess yelled.

I was appalled. "Oh, I'm a brat!?" I shouted. Getting up to open the door, I said: "I trusted you! You were my best friend! I don't know you anymore, nor do I think I want to!"

I slammed the door and ran back up to the bridge, crying. I flew into my cabin, shut the door, and flopped down on my bed.

Jess was still in shock. _You idiot! That's not the truth! You shouldn't have said that!_ She thought to herself.

I remembered all the times Jess and I shared when we were little girls. I remembered when we were young, before my father died. We had gone out exploring, and had gotten lost. We argued and argued over which way to go, and we eventually decided to take the road less traveled. We thought it was hopeless as it kept getting darker and darker. We were so scared we'd never see home again, that we just sat down and waited. Waited for a miracle. Before long, both our fathers came for us, and got us out of the woods.

I began to cry again as I thought of Father. He was the best. The one that inspired me to go against the rules, and to be who I wanted to be.

"_Victoria! Listen to me!"_

"_No, Edward! No! I will not have our daughter tramping around a ship in the sun all day!"_

"_Kristen can be who she wants to be, and do whatever she wants to do, Victoria!" Father shouted._

"_I want her to be a woman, Edward! One who sews, cooks, reads, writes, gets married, has children!"_

"_She can still do all those things and be whoever she likes!"_

"_I have already started looking." Mother said, matter-of-factly._

"_You're kidding! She's only four!"_

"_The earlier the better."_

"_You sicken me sometimes, Victoria." Father said. Shaking his head, he walked out of the room leaving Mother standing there, helpless._

I cried even harder. Father. Why did he have to leave me? I was always such a good girl, I never did anything to hurt anyone, yet He took him from me. I still didn't understand. While I was in my daze, a knock sounded at the door.

"Kristen, it's Lights. Can I come in?"

"Sure. It's open." I nodded. Lights came in, and shut the door behind him.

"Are you alright?"

"Fine, just, well, remembering." I said, trying to smile, yet failing.

Lights pulled up a chair and sat across from me. "Listen, I wanted to talk with you about tomorrow."

"Go ahead." I answered glumly.

"I know that you and James are upset about this. I am too. I think that you two deserve each other. We want to help in any way we can."

"Thanks, Lights, but you can't do anything. Everything has already been done."

"I'll give you away tomorrow if you ask it of me."

"That would be great, thank you." I smiled, as I thought of having Lights as a 'Father' for a day.

"I'll stay in attendance the whole time. If anything, anything at all goes wrong, I'll be there."

"What about James?" I asked.

"Well, I'm not sure. If you asked him to go, I'm sure he would, but since he and Andrews aren't exactly on the friendliest of terms….." Lights trailed.

"I don't care what Andrew thinks. James can make his own decision rather to attend or not. I trust his judgment."

"He loves you dearly, you know."

"I know, and I feel the same way. I just wish the world wasn't the way it is." I sighed.

"Believe me, everyone does."

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Yay! 30 Chapters! Thanks for those reviews, and keep them coming! Please check out the co-write! Trust me, you won't be disappointed! J


	31. Life Isn't Easy

Disclaimer: Chapter 1! Co-write!

Chapter 31

"**Oh, why can't everything just be easy?" I asked, shaking my head with frustration.**

"**If everything were easy, it wouldn't be life."**

"**You're right, I guess." I responded glumly.**

"**Think of how great and wonderful your life will be. You'll have money, children, anything you want!"**

"**I've thought, but I really don't think you learn what it feels like to have everything until you are offered it." **

"**I agree with you. Of course, I'll never know. My family was never rich. Don't let the chance pass you by."**

"**That's the thing. I **_**want **_**it to pass me by. I don't love the man! I'd give up everything and anything in the world to marry James! I hope he knows that."**

"**I believe he does, but I'll make sure of it. Speaking of which, I've got to run. I will see you later." Lights said, getting up and leaving.**

**James' POV**

_God, less than twenty-four hours. What in the world have I done to upset you?! Why are you making her marry him. I love her! She loves me! We deserve each other! _My thoughts were interrupted when I heard footsteps on the bridge. Not knowing who to expect, I spun around with a quick salute. I smiled when I noticed Lights.

"Back already?"

"We didn't have _that _quick of a conversation. I was in there for about a half hour!"

I laughed and replied: "The watches must be getting to me then."

"I think you're just insane."

"Hey!"

"I rank you, watch it." Lights told me. I hated that excuse. It got so old to pull rank on someone. All it means is that you don't have a good enough comeback.

"Do you have any extra spare apples?"

"I do…." Lights replied, pulling one out of his pocket and offering it to me. I reached for it, yet he pulled it away. "….If you promise to listen to what I have to tell you."

"Fine. Hit me with your best shot." I grumbled.

"It has to do with Kristen."

I immediately began to listen when I heard her name. "Go on."

"We were talking about the wedding tomorrow."

"Don't remind me."

"And she said she'd rather marry you. She wants you to know that she'd give up anything, and everything to marry you, James."

"I know that. I have nothing, but if I did, I'd give it away in an instant." I sighed.

Lights put a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "You sound just like me."

"Oh, how?"

"I remember when I was younger, I was on a different ship. I met a beautiful, beautiful girl. I loved her so. She was rich, very rich. Her parents didn't like me one bit. I had nothing, nothing to give her, and nothing I could ever offer her. I never saw her again."

"Wow." I marveled.

"Don't let her slip away James. I know you can't do anything about tomorrow, but even after, always stay in touch. You never know what could happen."

I smiled. "Thanks, Lights."

"Anytime! Now I do believe we have some lookouts to shoot!"

**Kristen's POV**

After my talk with Lights, I felt loads better, so I decided to show my face on the bridge. I laughed as I saw James and Lights launching their apples, getting an occasional shriek form Fleet and Lee.

"Causing trouble again, boys?"

"Ah! Kristen! Didn't see you there!" James rushed, laughing nervously.

"That's alright. 'Mommy' isn't staying."

I walked off the bridge and up to the Crow's Nest, where I knocked on the latch.

"Ahhh! Enemy! Catapult-builder, apple launcher, enemy!"

I looked at them oddly. "Please, I didn't do that, it was all Lights and James!"

"Alright, fine. Come on in."

I climbed in and shut the door. "Just so you boys know, I'm getting married tomorrow."

Their mouths dropped. "What?!"

"Yes, it's the truth, so I won't be around tomorrow, and don't even think about throwing water bombs at me!"

"We wouldn't dream of it. Congratulations on your marriage."

"Not so. I don't want to marry him at all!"

"Aw, I'm sorry. Who are you marrying?" Fleet questioned, smile fading from his face.

"Thomas Andrews." I sighed.

"Blimey! _The _Thomas Andrews?!"

"Is there another?"

"Wow, what could be so bad?"

"A lot, Lee, believe me."

All of a sudden, an apple flew up into the Crow's Nest, narrowly missing my head. I smiled, and shook my head. "Boys, water bomb me, please."

Fleet placed a water bomb in my hands, and I chucked it down to the bridge. I was satisfied once I heard a very high-pitched shriek.

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	32. Never Forget Me

Disclaimer: It is pretty sad if you don't know what I am going to say.

Chapter 32

**I rubbed my hands together after I was done, and looked up to see two rather shocked lookouts. **

"**What?"**

"**You are on **_**our**_** side of this?!" Lee asked.**

"**No, not really, just taking my anger out on the poor bridge officers." I rambled, before shouting down to the bridge: "Sorry!"**

"**Eh, they won't care."**

"**Yes they will. They are going to be angry that I got the better of that contraption." I said proudly.**

"**I wouldn't call it a contraption around Lights."**

"**You think I'm that stupid?"**

**Fleet opened his mouth to answer but I stopped him.**

"**Never mind. I don't think I want to know that answer. Have a good night watch, gentlemen."**

"**You as well!"**

**I smiled as I walked down to the bridge, to find Lights and James still wet. "Lights, go on, get some rest."**

"**No, I got Harold to cover for you. YOU need your rest."**

"**Do I have to?"**

**Lights and James both nodded.**

"**I'll walk you back to your cabin." James offered.**

"**Okay, and thanks Lights. Goodnight!"**

"**Goodnight, Kristen!" Lights called.**

**James and I walked down the hall to where the cabins were. I let him in behind me, and to my surprise he shut the door.**

"**I need to talk with you." he said quietly.**

"**Okay. James, is something wrong?"**

"**Everything is wrong!" he exclaimed, throwing his arms up into the air. "The love of my life is getting married tomorrow!"**

**I sighed. When he said we needed to talk I kind of figured it was about this. "James, there is nothing either of us can do. The captain has already been informed. We can't run away, as we are on a ship."**

**James looked surprised. "You would run away with me?"**

**I nodded. "I would give up everything. All the money in the world, and everything I have, to marry you."**

"**So would I, but like you said, there is nothing we can do."**

**I walked over to him, and took his hands in mine. "Just because I'm getting married tomorrow, doesn't mean I'll ever stop loving you."**

**James smiled down at me. "Neither will I. Hold on, I'll be back."**

**I nodded, and went into my little bathroom to change. I was brushing my hair when he returned. I set my brush down gently and smiled.**

"**I'll make a long story short. This was my mother's. I was supposed to give it to a jeweler in New York in exchange for some money, but this is more important to me."**

**James opened the box to reveal a necklace. A very beautiful necklace.**

"**James! It's gorgeous!"**

"**It's yours."**

**I looked at him, surprised. "Really?"**

"**Yes. I insist. No matter if we get split or our lives take us separate ways, I want to know that you will always have me with you, or a part of me, that is."**

"**You will always be with me no matter what. I promise."**

**James moved around me, and he put the necklace on. It hung perfectly, and I touched it with my fingers. It was lovely, yet simple. It was in the shape of a lily, sapphires and diamonds. "Besides," he commented, "It will go with your hair comb and it matches your eyes."**

"**Thank you."**

"**No need."**

"**I wish this didn't have to happen. If I could change it I would."**

**James pulled me into a hug.**

"**Don't think about it. I love you, and you know that. Let's enjoy the time we have together now instead of sulking over tomorrow."**

"**You're right." I replied, as I thought about what he said.**

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

"**Kristen! Wake up!"**

**I heard a man's voice call me out of a very peaceful slumber. I opened my eyes a tad to see Harold.**

"**We can't have you late for your own wedding now, can we?"**

**The already large knot in my stomach tripled. **_**My wedding.**_** I didn't forget, I just hoped that today would never come.**

**Harold noticed my frown. "Oh come on, it's Sunday! Everyone says it is good luck to be married on Sunday!"**

**Upon hearing his words I remembered that it was indeed Sunday. We were due in New York mid-week, but with Ismay on board, who knows how fast we'll be going.**

"**I'll give you that, Harold. I'll be out in a few minutes."**

**Lowe nodded as he walked out of the room. Meanwhile, I dressed in my uniform, boots, and hat. Harold was indeed waiting for me, and we walked up onto the bridge. I glanced at the clock on the wall. Eight o'clock. That was an hour later than usual.**

"**Morning, Kristen!" Lights and James both called.**

"**Morning!"**

"**Ready for you big day?"**

"**I wouldn't say ready, but holding up." I smiled, trying to put a little humor into a glum situation.**

"**That is good. Now if you will excuse me, I must run. Harold if you will assist me please."**

"**Yes, sir."**

**Once the two officers walked away, James and I were left. He walked over to me immediately, and smiled when he saw his necklace around my neck.**

"**It looks beautiful on you, you know. Of course, everything does."**

**I smiled. "Thank you, James."**

**He nodded before, without warning, kissing me. After we broke apart I hissed: "We'll get caught! Or hit, blasted, pelted, whatever-with water bombs!"**

"**Nah, we won't. Lights had a word with those two earlier."**

**I smiled. He better have. We were interrupted by a young stewardess.**

"**Miss, you need to get ready, if you will come with me please."**

"**Of course." I nodded politely, before turning to James.**

"**Go on. I'll see you later."**

"**I love you." I whispered so the girl could not hear.**

**James pulled me into a tight hug and replied: "I love you too."**

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	33. Don't Lose Yourself

**Disclaimer: Chapter 1**

**Chapter 33**

"Miss?" the stewardess impatiently asked.

"Coming." I responded, trying to hide the annoyance in my voice.

It was way too early to be heading down to a dressing room, and not to mention being forced into a corset so tight that Lights could fit his hands around my waist almost all the way.

The stewardess was met by others, and we all went to a vacant stateroom. I saw my dress, neatly placed on the bed, and a mirror. On the table, there was so much makeup, more than I had ever seen in my life. I saw jewelry, all diamonds. The one thing I didn't see was the one thing I requested: my hair comb.

"Excuse me, where is my hair comb?" I questioned, glancing everything over again, making sure that I didn't skip over it.

"Mister Andrews told us not to bring it."

I sighed, half in sadness, half in anger, at their response. I should have known that this was coming. The head stewardess motioned for me to come over and get into the corset. It was torturous as they tightened it. They weren't as strong as Lights, so it went by painfully slowly. When they were finally finished, they somehow managed to get the dress on. They straightened, repositioned, and fussed over and over. I rolled my eyes at them, not trying to be snobbish, they just didn't understand. No one did.

After the dress was perfectly positioned, it was on to hair. They did it up in a bun, leaving two strands hanging around my face in the front. I have to admit, it did look good, but it was rather high. I was so used to having a bun low so it wouldn't hit my hat, that it felt very odd up high.

They carefully lifted the veil off of the bed, and placed it on top of the bun, almost like a crown. They fluffed it out a bit, so it looked nice, and then it was on to the makeup.

The one stewardess began with the face powder, layering it on so thick, that my skin was ghostly white. I figured they wanted to cover up the darker tone of my skin that I gained from being out in the sun so long. I coughed a bit, as I wasn't used to this kind of powder. All mine, or, almost all of it had been used in the quest to overcome the water bombs. After they placed the powder down, they layered on red lipstick, and some pink blush, just enough to give me some color.

I walked away from them to get they jewelry, there was a necklace, and some earrings. I left the necklace on the desk, as I already wore one. The stewardess reached for the earrings, but I said: "You have done more than enough. You may go."

"But our instructions were-"

"I said you may go. Thank you."

They curtsied, and walked out. I turned once again to look at my reflection in the mirror. The woman I saw wasn't Kristen Petronsky. She was a doll. Lifeless, meant to be toyed with, or at least that was how she looked. I sighed as I definitely knew it was me in the mirror. I told myself not to cry, and to not give up. I reluctantly put the earrings in, and I looked a bit better. My head whipped around when I heard a knock on the door.

"Come in."

Lights stepped in, and closed the door behind him. His breath caught in his throat when he saw me.

"Wow…you look…."

"Awful, horrible, everything?" I asked with a smile.

"I was going to say different. "

"They changed me…I don't know myself anymore! I can't do it Lights!" I exclaimed.

"I thought you would think that. I thought a little piece of home could help."

Lights pulled out my hair comb from his pocket, and placed it in my hair.

"Thanks Lights." I smiled, hugging him.

"Yeah, no problem. You look like a porcelain doll, if I may say. A very beautiful porcelain doll."

"I don't think so. I'd rather wipe all this off." I told him, turning back around to face the mirror.

"If James could see you right now, he'd faint."

"I wouldn't want him to see me like this." I sighed. "I'm not myself."

"Listen." Lights said, turning me around and putting his hands on my shoulders. "Just because you are wearing a wedding dress, and just because they put makeup on you does not mean they have changed you. Inside you are still Kristen Petronsky. You have her spirit. You have her beauty, and her personality. Just because you are to be married, it does not give you an invitation to lose yourself. Be who you are, and no one else. I'll be back later."

With that, he walked out the door, and I was alone once again.

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	34. Shattered Like Glass

**Disclaimer: Chapter 1! Co-write!**

**Chapter 34**

After Lights left I turned back to the mirror and sighed. As much as I didn't look like myself, in a strange way, I did.

"Oh, it's the beautiful bride on her wedding day." I heard an extremely familiar, extremely obnoxious voice. I looked in the reflection in the mirror, and saw the door shut.

"What do you want, Missus Murdoch?"

"Just to wish the bride the best." she said, using that false smile I hated.

"Well, thank you. If you'll excuse me…." I trailed, picking my skirts up and beginning to walk towards the door. She barred it with an arm.

"You aren't going anywhere Petronsky."

I scowled at the woman. "Who are you to tell me what to do?!"

"I am myself, isn't that enough?"

I had to refrain from saying something I would regret, as the devilish woman caught sight of James' necklace, still hanging from my neck.

"I don't remember this…' she said, in a high-pitched voice, reaching out to touch it. I sharply turned away, and as a result her hand hung in mid-air.

"Don't touch it."

"It's from him isn't it? Moody?"

I kept a straight face, revealing nothing. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Missus Murdoch." I tried to make myself look busy by straightening things on a desk, but once again, I failed to completely wash her out.

"Oh, I think you know very well what I am talking about. You love him, don't you?"

I remained silent as my breathing got deeper and slower. My grip tightened on the book I was holding, and it took all of me to keep from throwing it at her.

"Ah, love, such a wonderful thing, you two really did look cute together. Pity true love never prevails."

My anger continued to well up inside me as I listened to her. She was so wrong. She didn't know anything about love. Her and her husband both. They had no feeling, no sensitivity, nothing.

"Sometimes, I find it easy to forget about love. Life is the same without love. It doesn't change anything."

"You're wrong." I muttered.

"Can't hear you, dear?"

I turned, blue eyes boring holes through her body. "I said, you are wrong. And I am not 'dear' to you!"

"I, Maria Murdoch, am never wrong."

"Well, get used to hearing that you are."

"What a pity, a good girl like you. Young, pretty, healthy, getting married to him. Not that the one you are in love with is better…."

"ENOUGH!" I shouted, not able to hold it in any longer.

She shrank back in surprise. Her eyes were wide as my sudden hostility escaped me.

"You don't know anything about me, you don't know anything about love, and don't even try telling me that you do!"

She opened her mouth to speak, but was silenced once again by my words.

"Don't say anything, Murdoch! It's not worth it! Nothing you say or do can change what is going to happen!"

"That wasn't my plan."

"Then what was it?!"

"To break you. To break that spirit of yours, the spirit I hate." she hissed.

"You will never break me. Something else might, but I can guarantee that it will not be you."

Maria looked surprised. "Oh really? All it would take would be to…oh well, that's none of your business what happens to him." Maria said, turning towards the door.

My brain made the connection immediately. James. "What did you do?"

"Nothing. Enjoy your day." she smiled, before shutting the door.

**James' POV**

"Hey! What? Let me go!" I shouted at the Master-At-Arms.

"Stop struggling!"

"What did I do?" I pleaded as I was cuffed to a pipe.

"Enough. You have been classified as a disturbance, and you were ordered to be locked up so no more trouble would be caused." the Master-At-Arms stated.

I sighed in frustration as the Master-At-Arms walked out, shutting the door behind him.

_No. Kristen. I've got to get to Kristen! I can't let her do this! I love her!_ I thought, trying desperately to get out off the cuffs. I almost screamed as I couldn't get out. It seemed to me as if all hope was lost. I was cuffed up, and I couldn't do anything to save the woman I loved from destroying her life.

**Kristen's POV**

_What did she do to him?! Oh, please let him be alright! _I thought. It took every ounce of my being to keep from crying. Perhaps I was wrong. Perhaps I could be broken, like glass. Strong, never lying, yet if you hit it the wrong way, it would shatter all over in a million pieces. In my case, it wasn't a million. It was a billion.

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	35. We Are Far From Over

**Disclaimer: Chapter 1! Co-write!**

**Chapter 35**

I shook my head as I wondered what to do. I had no clue of the time, and I didn't know where James was, or if it even had to do with him! Judging by the tone of Maria's voice, it had to do with him. I just didn't understand why he had to pay for my faults, and my mistakes. _I have to go get him. _I thought. I battled for awhile, but the devil took over and I opened the door a crack. I looked both ways in the hall before tiptoeing out.

"Miss Petronsky, just where do you think you are going?"

I stopped dead in my tracks. Murdoch. I turned around with a fake smile, to see him standing there.

"Taking a little stroll. I thought you were supposed to be on shift."

"Oh, Mister Andrews asked me to keep an eye on you."

A little light bulb went off in my head. Andrews, Maria, Murdoch, it all made sense! _Somehow Thomas must have sent word to Maria, Maria made some lame excuse to lock James up, and she let her dolt of a husband know! _I snapped back to reality, infuriated.

"I don't care what Thomas has told you. I, as your superior officer, am telling you to go back up on the bridge." To make my point, I pointed my finger in the direction of the bridge.

"With all due respect, Miss. I don't consider you my superior officer, Just like the good old days, Petronsky. I always win. I never lose. You are a mere tool, a woman. No feelings, no anything. Too bad I hadn't ripped that picture all the way."

I knew better than to say anything, as if I said what I was thinking, I would be fired in an instant. Instead, I shook my head.

"In a way, I feel sorry for you, Will Murdoch. You'll never know what love is, you'll never know how it feels. You'll never dare to be different, and you won't live your life to the fullest."

"Fancy words for someone who doesn't know any of those things." he mumbled.

"And that is another reason." I said before brushing past him, and storming down below decks. I ignored the passing glances of crew and passengers, as no one would expect a woman in her wedding dress running down the halls. Before long, I made it to the crewman's passage, and making sure no one was looking, I crept down the hall, and into the room where prisoners were locked. Once I had shut the door, I whipped around to see James, looking at the wall. "James?"

He turned around, hearing my voice, and smiled as he saw me.

"Kristen! How'd you know?"

"Maria hinted it. Hold on, let me find a key….' I trailed, walking over to the key cabinet.

"No."

I looked at him like he was crazy. "What?"

"I said, no."

"Why? James, I can get you out."

"And let people get suspicious. You would get fired, so would I."

"James, I love you. I can't marry Thomas!"

Standing up, James motioned for me to come over. I did so, and he looked right into my eyes, saying. "I love you as well, and I want what's best for you. Thomas can give you the best life. I have nothing. I couldn't give you mansions, parties, riches, anything you could possibly want."

"But James, I don't want those things!" I exclaimed.

"I know you don't. But in my case, if you truly love someone, you let them go in order for their happiness, and the best life that they are offered. I want you to be able to do whatever you want to do, and not have money as an issue. I want you to fulfill your dream of traveling the world someday, I want you to have a good house, and I want you to never lose yourself."

His words almost made me cry. "I can't James."

"Do it for me."

I looked at the floor, comprehending. _This isn't right! He can do all those things with me! I want to be happy! _"You make me happy, though, James."

"Again, I know, and you do too, but some things are just never meant to be, I guess." he sighed, looking away.

I turned his face towards mine. "I don't want to hear those words out of your mouth again James Moody."

For once in the event he cracked a smile. "I don't want to speak them. We aren't over."

"No, we are far from it. Now will you stop being stubborn and let me unlock you?!"

"I can't stop being stubborn, and you can't unlock me. The Master-At-Arms will take us both, I know. I don't want that to happen to you."

"Nothing could be worse than what is going to happen."

"For the record, you look beautiful." he grinned.

I smiled back at him. "Thanks, James."

"Now go on. I'll be here, as I'm obviously not going anywhere."

It was hard for me not to cry. "I love you, James. No matter what you say or do, it will never change."

"I love you too." James replied, kissing me gently.

"Taking one last look, I walked out of the room, only to see the person I hoped I wouldn't see until I walked down the aisle. Thomas.

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	36. A Ceremony, and Regrets

**Disclaimer: Chapter 1! Co-write!**

**Chapter 36**

My heart seemed to stop, dead in my chest. I had no clue what to say or what to do, and I just let his eyes drill holes through me. He didn't have to say any words, the way he was looking at me said enough.

"This isn't what it looks like, Thomas." I began, only to be cut off.

"I don't care what it looks like! It's all the same!" Thomas yelled. With his large arm motions, I noticed a pistol on his belt. My eyes grew huge, and as I stared at it, the words he spoke became worthless to me. Words, thoughts, and feelings crossed my mind, and I didn't know how to control them all. I felt anger leaking from me. "What's that look for?!"

"I'm sure you know by now."

"My darling is upset."

"For the last time Thomas, don't call me that!"

A passing steward glanced at us strangely. It was indeed a sight to behold. Thomas, in his tuxedo, and I, in my wedding gown, fighting in the crewman's passage.

"Alright, this is the last straw. Come, now."

"I'm not a dog." I retorted. "I don't have a master and no one owns me."

He grabbed my wrist and yanked me along. "Come on, we have no time to lose."

As much as I resisted, he won the battle of strength, and I was dragged up to the chapel, where Lights was waiting outside. Andrews left me with him, and he sensed something was wrong.

"Kristen, are you alright?" Lights asked, concerned.

"He, Maria, and Murdoch. They locked James up!" I exclaimed.

Lights didn't say anything, as music began to play. Instead, he offered his arm, and when the large doors swung open, I began my walk. I saw Captain Smith, and Thomas up at the altar, and I felt the color drain from my face. "I can't do this Lights." I muttered, so only he could hear.

"Yes you can. Trust me. You'll be fine."

His words were only mere words to me, nothing but words, with no emotion, or depth. He eventually dropped me off, and Thomas took my arm. I managed a weak smile, as the ceremony began. Questions were asked, answered, and vows were taken.

Eventually, it was all up to me. Two words, and it would be sealed. Images flashed through my mind. Father on his deathbed, Mother yelling at him about proper marriages, and James. James wanted me to do it, so did Mother. It was too much to handle at one moment.

"I do." I whispered, regretting it. Thomas and I kissed, after we were pronounced man and wife.

I looked at Thomas, and he was beaming. Too bad he didn't care what I thought or felt, no, to him, he had just won a trophy, and was going to show it off.

After many introductions, I couldn't stand to hear the word 'congratulations' one more time. It was to the point where I excused myself.

"Thomas, I don't feel too well."

"Oh, well, come to me later tonight." he smiled before kissing me on the cheek. "Feel better darling."

I nodded, and walked out of the room before taking my shoes off and breaking out into a run. I cried the whole way, as my life until now flashed before me. I threw open the door to the wheelhouse, and ran passed a surprised looking Harold Lowe, into my room. I slammed the door shut, flopped down onto my bed, and let it all out. I couldn't take it anymore. Not one word. I felt as if I was the only one born to ever have feelings, everyone else thought they were foreign, and didn't know what to make of them, or me. I was alone. I had no one. Not even Jess. _Your own little sister doesn't even like you!_ I thought to myself. Mother trusted me with her, and I let her go. I let everything go. I realized how selfish I was, only caring about my career, yet pushed the thought out of my head as I remembered how Lissy chose Jess.

"_Lissy, Krissy has to go away for awhile, alright?" I smiled, kneeling down to look at my little sister._

_She pouted: "Why?"_

_I looked to Jess for help, yet she only shook her head. "Krissy is going to sail ships."_

"_Again?"_

_I nodded. "Jess will take care of you, everything will be fine."_

"_I don't want you to go."_

"_I'll be back."_

"_No you won't! Last time you said that, you didn't come back for a year!"_

_I sighed: "Lissy….."_

"_I won't listen! I never want to see you again!" She screamed, running over to Jess. I sighed as I heard the ship's whistle blow, and walked up the gangway, a whole new life ahead of me._

I scolded myself for being so stupid. _Your own little sister. Way to honor Father, and now Mother._ I wanted my little sister to love me like I loved her. Everything in my life changed in the blink of an eye, but the worst part of everything, was tat I was no longer Miss Kristen Petronsky, no, I was Mrs. Kristen Andrews.

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	37. Hard To Starboard!

**Disclaimer: Chapter 1! Co-write and one-shot!**

**Chapter 37**

My mind flashed back to James, locked down with the Master-At-Arms. I had no idea what to do, and the hours were already ticking away on Sunday. Pretty soon, it would be time for me to take night watch, that's how late it was. The hours had whizzed by, and the worst part was that I had to go to Thomas later. I didn't care what he said, I wasn't going.

"Miss Kristen!" I heard a knock on my door. "It's time for your watch!"

I groaned. Already?!

"Thank you Mister Boxhall. I'll be out shortly."

I rummaged through my suitcase to find my uniform. I took my dress off carefully, and placed it inside. After wiping the makeup off my face, I climbed back up to the bridge. The cold stung my cheeks, and I ran back into my room to get my overcoat. Once I had retrieved it, I pulled it high onto my chin, and walked back out onto the bridge. It was a clear night, yet one with no moon. The air had an odd smell to it, and something just wasn't right.

"Kristen!"

I looked up to see Harold, running towards me. He opened his mouth, but I stopped him.

"Don't even bother saying 'congratulations'."

"Alright. Where is James?"

"Master-At-Arms." I groaned.

"Why?! What happened?!"

"Nothing! It's that bastard Murdoch and his wife!"

Lowe nodded. "Ooooh. I see."

"They locked him up as a 'disturbance'."

"Well, I'll be covering watch with you tonight."

"Okay. Why don't you go get your overcoat?"

"I'm not cold."

"I said to get you overcoat, Harold."

"What if I don't want to."

"Do you want me to tie you to the Crow's Nest, in the path of the catapult?" I asked, smiling.

Harold gulped. "I'll get that now."

"Yes you will." I kept smiling as he ran off, before laughing.

I walked out onto the little walkway outside the wheelhouse to look at the ocean. It was calm. No waves, nothing. I knew something was odd, I just couldn't put my finger on it. Still thinking, I walked back into the wheelhouse with those thoughts in my mind. I wondered what Fleet and Lee were doing up in the Crow's Nest, probably something bad, if I knew them as well as I thought. I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard the phone. I walked faster than normal, and picked it up.

"Is anyone there?!" I heard Fleet's frantic voice on the line.

"Yes, what do you see?"

"Iceberg, right ahead!"

"Thank you." I nodded, before hanging up. I desperately looked at Hichens at the wheel, and shouted: "HARD TO STARBOARD!" at the top of my lungs. I dashed out onto the walkway to see a large black object looming out of the water. Knowing our position, I raced back into the wheelhouse, almost running over Harold, and sent instructions to the engine room. A bell sounded, letting me know that they had been delivered. Now, I was definitely panicking. I once again ran out onto the walkway, to see the iceberg getting closer and closer.

"Is the hull over?!"

"Yes, Miss!" Hichens shouted back. Turning my attention to the object in the water, I muttered: "Turn, turn, come on! Turn!" As if my mere words could make the hull move. We kept getting closer and closer, and I knew that the closer the ship got, the less chance we had of avoiding a collision.

"It's gonna hit!" I heard a voice shout, before a loud scraping sound reached my ears. I felt the deck vibrating, and I started to sweat. Wasting no time, I ran to where the watertight door diagram was, and flipped the switch, closing all the doors as a precaution. I sighed of relief as every circle became illuminated.

Out of nowhere, the bridge was flooded with light, and Smith rushed out. "What was that?!"

"An iceberg, sir." I panted.

"Are the watertight doors closed?"

"Yes, sir. I put her hard to starboard, but she hit. I tried the best I could, the ship was going too fast."

I followed Smith out onto the walkway to inspect the level of water. Already, I noticed that it was lower than usual.

"Mister Lowe!"

"Yes, sir?"

"Go below decks, and inspect damage, if there is any, report back here immediately." Smith ordered.

"Certainly, sir." Harold nodded, running to the nearest stairwell.

"Mrs. Andrews, find your husband. I don't like the looks of this."

"Right away." I said.

I ran down the stairs onto A-Deck, where things were running like normal. No one seemed to have felt anything. I rushed past stewards, and passengers alike, even accidentally bumping a few of them, only to receive odd looks. When I finally reached Thomas' door, I pounded on it.

"Coming, wait." He opened the door, and smiled when he saw me. "Ah, darling. I was hoping you would come to me tonight."

"Thomas, this isn't the time."

"Why not? It's nighttime, isn't it?"

I looked frustrated. "Yes, but….' I leaned in closer to him and whispered: "We've struck an iceberg!"

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	38. You'll Always Be With Me

**Disclaimer: Chapter 1! One-shot and co-write!**

**Chapter 38**

Andrews gave me a look that said it all: "Are you certain?!"

"Yes, I was on duty!" I whispered back.

"Hold on, let me get my blueprints…." he trailed, before disappearing inside momentarily, and reappearing with a few rolled up sheets of paper.

"Come on! We have no time to lose!"

I pulled Thomas up to the bride, where all the officers were now up and moving around. Fourth Officer Boxhall, and Third Officer Pitman were doing various tasks for the captain, and Lightoller and Murdoch were listening to Harold's report.

"Mister Andrews! Thank goodness!" Smith gasped.

"Shall we go into your office?"

Smith nodded, as Ismay showed up in his bathrobe and slippers. I groaned. He still had to look rich in an emergency. We all went into Smith's office, where Thomas pushed papers out of they way. He grabbed two paperweights, and placed them on either side of the master blueprint.

"Your findings, Mister Lowe?"

As Harold reported, I thought. _There aren't enough lifeboats! People are going to--no, perhaps this is a false alarm--it can't be! _

I was snapped back to reality when Thomas exclaimed: "That is five compartments! She can stay afloat if four are filled, not five."

The room was silent, and I was afraid to move, in fear that I would create extraneous noise.

"This ship can't sink!" Ismay scoffed.

"She's made of iron. She certainly can, and she certainly will." Thomas said.

"How much time, Mister Andrews?"

Thomas looked saddened. "Two hours at most."

"How many on board, Missus Andrews?"

"Over two-thousand, sir." I answered, as a chord was struck deep in my heart.

"I think you are going to get your headlines, Mister Ismay."

Everyone fell silent once more, but I remembered. _Jess, and Lissy! I must warn them! _Without a word, I quietly sneaked out of the room, and darted down stairwells until I reached the third-class areas. I scoured my brain trying to remember the number of their stateroom, and I eventually got to it. Rapping on the door sharply, I was ready to tell them the worst. A very tired Jess opened the door.

"Kristen? Wha-?"

"No time for explanations! Get Lissy, and get up to the boat deck! Put your lifebelts on, while you're at it!" I exclaimed, going into the cabin, turning the lights on, and fetching two lifebelts off the top of the closet.

"Kristen this is insane!"

"It maybe insane, but I assure you, it's the truth. The ship is sinking! I saw the iceberg with my own eyes!"

"Jessy? What's goin' on?"

I heard Lissy's tiny voice come from the top bunk as she sat up.

"Everything is alright dear."

There was a loud commotion in the hall as Kristen heard people running. "There is water in the hall! Water in the hall!"

`"See? We have not time! Hurry, get your coats on, it's cold!" I exclaimed.

Jess and Lissy were quick, and as soon as they were ready, I let them out of their cabin.

"Go up to the main gate. They'll take care of you." I said before beginning to walk off.

"Kristen! Wait!" Jess called. I turned around, and she hugged me.

I nodded, before turning, and racing to the crewman's passage. I was panting, as I found the halls deserted. The door to the Master-At-Arm's office was unlocked, so with one mighty kick, I broke the door down. I saw James, leaning against the wall, and as soon as he heard a noise, his head snapped up.

"Kristen?! What're you…"

"No time James. The ship is sinking, I need to get you out of here." I said, rummaging through desk drawers and cabinets in search of the key.

"It's no use, dear. He took it." James told me, standing up to full height.

"Well, let me go find him then."

"Kristen, no." James sighed.

"What do you mean, no?! We're already flooding! Stop being your stubborn self and let me get help! Please!" I wailed, feeling hot tears pour down my cheeks.

"There is no use. You have a duty. You need to save lives. Now, go on that deck, and show them what you can do!"

"I rank you James. I'm ordering you to let me do this!"

"It won't work this time, darling." James sighed. "No matter what you do, I won't listen."

"Why not?!" I cried. If he wouldn't let me unlock him, then he'd surely…..

"Darling. Save yourself. Please! You've got so much ahead of you! Perhaps one day you'll even be a captain! I'm a sixth officer, you can replace us easily. One like you though, you're one in a million!"

"James, you are worth the world to me! Please!"

"I know I am. You are my world as well. Ever since I met you, God I loved you. I wanted what I couldn't have, like it usually turns out." James sighed.

I walked over to him, still crying. "James, this ship is sinking! If I have to drag you off, I will!"

"You couldn't. I'm too heavy." he smirked.

"Now is not the time for jokes! Please, James! Do it for me!" I pleaded, knowing that every minute that slipped away was one less minute I had left on the ship.

"I am doing this for you. If I got out, they'd put me on a lifeboat instead of you. I couldn't live with tha-" he stopped as water began to drift into the room. I screamed, and grabbed onto him.

"James-"

"Listen to me! Go! Go now! Forget about me!"

I cried even harder. "No! I can't leave you!"

"You'll always have me with you, I'll always be in your heart. You'll never leave me either. I have a wish, and it is for you to go."

I looked at him, and I knew he wasn't going to give up. I gasped slightly as the icy water swished around my ankles. James leaned in, and kissed me. It was passionate, and he poured every ounce of love in his heart that he had into it.

"Go now."

I continued to cry as I heard him say that. "I love you, James."

He kissed me again before saying: "I love you too. Go on!"

I nodded, and walked towards the doorframe. As I was about to exit, I stole one last glance, and when he nudged his head indicating me to go, I could do nothing but follow orders.

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I made myself cry writing this. :C I hope you enjoyed, as I now have water all over my keyboard. Thanks for reviews.


	39. Black Depths

**Disclaimer: Chapter 1! Co-write, one-shot! 100 Reviews! Thank you everyone! :D**

**Chapter 39**

I was still crying as I raced down the halls, water sloshing at my ankles. It felt like knives, stabbing my feet whenever I took a step. I eventually found my way back to the main hall that led up to the higher decks. I pushed my way through the large crowds of people, to find two stewards, standing on the other side of a gate.

"You can't come up to the boats yet!" one exclaimed, despite the desperate cries of women and children. I managed to somehow push my way up to the front, and shook the gates, drawing attention to myself from the stewards.

"Unlock these gates at once!" I demanded.

"Sorry lady, Captain's orders."

"You obviously don't know who you're dealing with." I hissed, shaking the gates again.

"Nope."

"Don't get mouthy with me. I'm not in the mood. I'm your Chief Officer! Get us out! Now!"

Both stewards' mouths dropped to the floor.

I heard the rush of water, and I looked down to see it climbing higher and higher each second.

"Please. Get us out!"

"Yes, miss." one steward said, fumbling with the keys on his belt until he got the right one. Placing it in the lock and giving it a turn, the gates were opened, and we were released. As quickly as I could, I scrambled up to the boat deck, where I saw Lights and Harry, frantically trying to load what few people were on deck.

"Lights! Harry!" I called.

They both snapped their heads in my direction, and smiled when they saw me.

"Where are all the women and children?" I screamed over the loud noises.

"Inside! It's too bloody cold! Step lively, miss!" Lights exclaimed, helping a lady into a boat.

"Harry! Get into this boat!" I demanded. Harold nodded, and got in among the women.

"Any more?" I asked Lights.

He looked around before shaking his head.

"Lower away!" I shouted, bringing both my arms up.

I watched as the boat was lowered, slowly, yet steadily down to the water.

"Stay back! Stay back, you lot, or this is what you'll get!" I heard Harold scream. Immediately following were three gunshots. I cringed, as I didn't know if anyone had gotten hurt.

After Boat 14 safely touched the water, Lights and I continued to load.

"Kristen. Get in."

"No, Lights, you go."

"Fine, we'll compromise. Boxhall!"

The young Fourth Officer came over, and got into the boat upon my command. We continued to shout, and load. Pretty soon, there was one left. That's it, one. Murdoch and his awful wife had just come up on deck, and now it was a battle of who got the last seat.

"You're a man, Murdoch. You can take it. As am I. I believe we should let the women go." Lights said.

"I agree."

"But there is only one seat! If both of us go, them the boat will buckle!" Maria shouted, crying, and trying to sound like she knew what she was talking about even though she didn't.

Lights was trying hard not to say something he would regret. "Kristen?"

"Let Missus Murdoch go." I said, holding my head up high in confidence.

Lights gasped in surprise. "But-"

"I don't want to hear it, Mister Lightoller! Get her into the boat!" I ordered.

Murdoch smirked, and Maria gave me an evil smile before entering.

"It was a pleasure knowing you, Missus Andrews."

I didn't respond as I glanced down at the churning waters of the sea. I refused to let it suck me down into it's black depths. I refused to let it poison my mind with thoughts of death. I had made up my mind. I was going to live.

After the last boat had touched the water, the ship shook violently, throwing Murdoch overboard. I tried to reach for him, but it did no good. He was gone. I looked to Lights desperately.

"The collapsible boats!"

I nodded, and we climbed on top of the officer's quarters to where they were located. The men surrounding us all tried to help, and there were no women in sight.

"Kristen, jump down and maintain order! I need oars propped up along the side so we can get this down!"

"Alright!" I shouted back before going down and doing what he said. I managed to get oars, and lined them up.

"Ready?"

"Ready Lights!"

With one mighty shove, Lights pushed the boat down. It rolled down the oars, and I had to dive to avoid being crushed.

"Sorry!" he shouted.

"I'm fine! Whoa!" I screamed as I felt my body being consumed by water. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think, and I couldn't swim. I was too surprised.

"KRISTEN!" I heard Lights shout out.

I tried to call back to him, yet my breath wouldn't escape my throat. I couldn't do anything to save myself as I washed off the boat deck and into the waters of the Atlantic Ocean. I struggled in the water for a few moments before finding a piece of driftwood I could hang onto. Hauling my chest up onto it, I turned sharply when my eyes saw nothing but darkness. With the little bit of the strength I had, I turned to see _Titanic, _now with no electricity. Her stern was tilting upward even more with every passing moment, and I watched as it slowly sank down into the water. My eyes were still fixed on the spot, yet, the unsinkable _Titanic _was gone.

Piercing cries filled the air, as people who were hanging onto the stern were now in the water. I shivered uncontrollably, and I knew that if they wouldn't return the boats, that I would be another life taken by the ocean. Remembering my whistle, I blew it, and yelled: "Return the boats!" as loud as my body would allow.

Every minute that I waited, there was one less cry for help, one less splash, and one less noise. I felt myself getting numb, and very tired. I fought the urge to close my eyes. _It will all be over. You'll wake up in the morning. If you just close your eyes-no! _I snapped out of that awful train of thought, as I knew I couldn't do such a thing. I thought I saw the lights of a ship in the distance, but I couldn't tell for sure. I felt myself slipping away as I heard my father's voice: _Be strong, Kristen. Be strong. _Upon hearing that, my eyes closed, and I was consumed by blackness.

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Whoo! Like I said earlier, magic 100! :D Thank you so much everyone!


	40. On the Cunarder Carpathia

Disclaimer: Chapter 1!

Chapter 40

**I woke up the next morning in a strange bed. I didn't know where I was. **_**You're probably on a rescue ship, after **_**Titanic **_**sank. **_

"**Kristen! Thank goodness!" I heard a voice. I saw Harold run over to me, and sit down next to me.**

"**Harry, what happened? Where am I?"**

"**Well, I don't know if you remember, but you jumped from **_**Titanic **_**and passed out in the water. I came back for survivors, and picked you up. The men in my boat warmed you up the best they could, and here we are, alive and well, on the Cunarder **_**Carpathia**_**."**

**I smiled, but it faded a bit when a knock sounded from the door, as I thought it was someone with bad news.**

"**Captain Rostron!" Harold saluted.**

"**Mister Lowe, if you will excuse us for a moment please?"**

**Harry nodded before walking out, and Rostron sat in his vacant chair. "Are you feeling alright, Missus Andrews?"**

"**Yes, better. Thank you." I nodded.**

"**We haven't been formally introduced. I'm Art Rostron, Captain of the **_**Carpathia.**_**" he said, smiling, and extending his hand for a shake.**

**As I was still weak, I took it softly and gave it a small shake.**

"**Kristen Andrews. Chief Officer on **_**Titanic.**_**"**

**Rostron nodded. "Can I get you anything?"**

"**Anything warm would be nice."**

**Rostron snapped his fingers, and a steward came running into the room. "Something warm for Missus Andrews, please."**

**Nodding, the steward exited, and Rostron turned back to me. "No pressure, but if you are up to it, I'd like to hear your story."**

"**Alright." I sighed, and began to tell Rostron the events of last night. His happy face turned to one of sadness, and concern.**

"**My goodness. You didn't leave the ship?" He was very surprised.**

"**No, sir, I didn't. I stayed with her until a wave took me away."**

"**It takes a brave officer to do that. I commend you."**

"**Thank you, Captain."**

**The steward eventually returned with a cup of tea. I drank it slowly, letting the warmth fill my body. **

"**I will let you get your rest. Pleasure getting to know you. I hope to see you around." Rostron smiled, taking the back of my hand, and kissing it before leaving.**

"**You as well!" I called after him.**

**Once Rostron left, the room was silent. I tried to get comfortable in the bed, but the same thoughts kept plaguing my mind. I had to know. I had to know about James, Lissy, and Jess. Disobeying doctor's orders, I climbed out of bed, and pain shot through my legs.**

**Donning my uniform, I took a few steps around the cabin. Each step felt like a knife through the foot. I grimaced in pain a few times before I became used to it. Opening the door, I peered out into the all, and crept out of the cabin. As soon as I reached the deck, sunlight stung my eyes. Everything was busy, people taking names, giving survivors clothing and food, and comforting them. I heard the cries of new widows, and children who had lost their fathers. It was painful just to hear it.**

"**Kristen!"**

**I whipped around to see Jess, holding Lissy's hand. My face broke out into a smile, and I ran over to them. I hugged each one.**

"**Did you get into a boat?" Jess wondered.**

"**No, I jumped for it! I'm so happy that you are here with me!"**

**I felt my little sister grab my leg, and I picked her up.**

"**I was so scared." she cried burying her head into my shoulder.**

"**Shhh, I know. It's alright." I soothed. Jess held out her arms, and I deposited Lissy into them.**

"**Do you know the fate of your friends?"**

**I shook my head. "I was just about to go see. I'll see you later."**

**Jess and Lissy both smiled and waved before I found a crewman with a list.**

"**Can I take your name please?" he asked.**

"**Kristen Andrews."**

**He nodded his thanks before walking away.**

"**Wait!" I called after him.**

**The man turned around and waited until I made my way over.**

"**Could you tell me if some names are on that list?"**

**The man nodded.**

"**Charles Lightoller?"**

**Flipping through pages, the man nodded.**

"**Fredrick Fleet, and Reginald Lee?"**

**The man gave another nod. I couldn't help but smile. **_**More water bombs.**_** "Thomas Andrews?"**

"**No, miss."**

**I gulped, as the breath caught in my throat as I remembered the last name.**

"**James Moody?"**

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**Dun-dun-dun-dunnnnnnnnnn. Thanks for reviews! 40 Chapters! Yay! :D**


	41. Flying Free

**Disclaimer: Chapter 1!**

**Chapter 41**

The crewman shook his head. "I'm sorry, Miss."

I could do nothing but watch as he walked away. James was gone. I felt as if my entire world had been taken from me, and I didn't know what to do. I sank down against a nearby wall, and cried. The past few days whizzed through my mind like a whirlwind, and boy were they good days.

"Kristen?"

I looked up briefly to see Lights. He gave me a gentle smile, and sat down next to me. He put his arm around my shoulders, and pulled me closer to him.

"Shh, it's alright. Everything will turn out fine." he soothed.

"No, it's not alright! James is dead!" I exclaimed, sobbing even harder.

"What?"

"You heard!"

"Oh no." he sighed. "I'm so, so sorry."

"There is nothing you can do."

"I wish there was. What about Andrews?"

"He's gone too. I have nowhere to go!" I sobbed.

"Not so."

I just looked at him, surprised.

"You have Andrews Manor. You're still going there. I spoke with him before, well, you know…"

"You did?"

Lights nodded: "He said that you got it all. He said 'Tell her to take the houses, and do whatever she pleases, and let her know that I love her'."

I cried harder at his words. I felt so horrible. So mean, so nasty, so selfish, and so horrible. Horrible for not seeing how lucky I was. Putting my own needs above the needs of others.

"I know it's hard."

"It's not that! I was so mean, and cruel, and selfish, Lights!"

"First of all, you are not mean, cruel, or selfish. You've been through a lot."

"And second?"

"You can't blame yourself for what happened. If he chose to stay and perish it was his choice."

"I know. I still feel bad." I told him, the tears subsiding a bit.

"James wouldn't have wanted you to think about it again."

"It's impossible!"

"I need to tell you that James loved you with everything he had. Before he met you, he was the loneliest, most confused lad I'd ever met. You opened his eyes to the world and how it worked. He was so captivated with you, in fact that was all we heard in the Mess Hall for awhile."

"Really?" I asked.

"Yes. He wanted to marry you."

"I know." I nodded sadly.

"Would you have wanted the same?"

I nodded. "I loved him very much."

"I'm sorry things didn't work out. You two made a good couple."

"Thanks, Lights."

"Is there anything I can do to cheer you up?"

"Get hit with a water bomb." I smiled evilly.

Lights sighed: "Alright."

He reluctantly got up, and went over to speak with Fleet and Lee. I saw their faces, and laughed. They were so unbelievably happy that Lights had forgotten about his punishment, and gave them permission to water bomb him.

"Go stand over there." Fleet ordered, nudging his chin towards the stern.

"You owe me big-time." Lights mouthed, causing me to laugh.

"Ready?"

"Unfortunately."

"One….two….three……..fire away!" Lee yelled. Fleet released the bomb, and Lights shrieked as he was drenched. I began to laugh, as Fleet and Lee bowed obnoxiously. Rising to my feet I went over to Lights and hugged him, not caring if he was sopping wet.

"Thanks Lights."

He hugged me tighter, and replied: "No problem."

"This might seem a little, spontaneous, but do you know if they have a piano on this ship?"

"They have a chapel, so probably….." Lights trailed.

Before he could ask why, I thanked him and ran off. I darted down, following various signs, and before long, I found it. To my surprise, it was unlocked, and I peeked my head in. Noticing it was vacant, I opened the door wide enough so I could squeeze through. After shutting it, I walked over to the grand piano. It was a beautiful instrument, colored like fresh maple syrup. It's legs were adorned with various designs and carvings in the woodwork. After admiring, I sat down on the bench, and lifted the protector. The keys were lovely, made of ivory, and had a cream color to them. I played a middle C, and listened as the note reverberated through the chapel. The acoustics were fabulous, and in response, I played a chord. I closed my eyes, and listened to it, feeling happy that I was with my music. I loved music as much as I loved the sea. Ever since I was a little girl, I could sing and play piano. Recalling events that occurred in the past twenty-four hours, I decided to play a happy tune.

As I played, it almost seemed as my troubles were swept away. I felt free, not pledged to anyone or anything, not being ordered around, and not being discriminated against. When I started to sing, I was amazed at how much my voice had matured since I had last played. It sounded as my voice was a lot older than myself, slurring and hitting notes I never knew I could hit.

After the singing interval was over, I played the outro, softly, and let the last chord fade away.

"Kristen?"

I spun around quickly to see Rostron.

"Captain." I nodded, as I finally realized how loud I had been.

"That was beautiful. I didn't know you played and sang!"

"Yes, sir, I do."

"Well, I'll leave you to it. You were blessed with an angel's voice. It was lovely. I will see you around."

"Thank you." I said as he walked out. As soon as the door was shut, I began to enter the world of music once more. I played a slower song, one of my favorites, _Flying Free_. I picked the song because that was how I felt. After years, and years of wishing, I finally felt like I was soaring over everything, and I could overcome whatever stood in my way. I felt free.

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I hope you enjoyed! :D Thanks for reviews! Kristen's music surely cheered her up!


	42. Eternal Flame

**Disclaimer: Chapter 1!**

**Chapter 42**

After about an hour of piano, I felt ready to face the world again. We were making excellent time, and I heard rumors of reaching New York by this evening. I strolled up on deck to find the sky very cloudy, and the sea getting rough. I spotted Lights, and walked over.

"All dried off?"

"Yes, thanks." he smiled.

"Where's Kady?"

"I didn't tell you?"

I shook my head no. "What happened?"

"We got into a pretty nasty fight."

"Oh no. I'm sorry, Lights." I sympathized.

"Ah, it's alright. Some things are never meant to be."

I nodded. "Where are you going after this?"

He just shrugged. "Wherever life takes me."

I opened my mouth to speak, but closed it as I wondered if I should ask him. Finally deciding, I said: "Could your path take you to Andrews Manor to stay with me awhile?"

He looked to me with a smile. "Sure it can."

I hugged him, and thanked him. "I need a friend with me. I'm going to ask Jess and Lissy to come as well."

"Sounds good."

"I'll be back after I find them. Thanks again!" I waved before walking away in search of Jess and Lissy. I found them sitting up against the wall, and Jess looked like she was telling a story.

"Kristen!" she exclaimed when she saw me. I gave them both a smile and sat across from them. "What's going on?"

"Well, I have a question for you two."

"Is there something wrong?" Jess inquired, becoming worried.

"No, no, not at all."

"Good. Fire away!"

"I was just wondering since Thomas died, that really large house is going to be really lonely……"

Jess' face broke out into a smile. "Really?!"

I nodded. She enveloped me in a hug and said: "Of course! We'll stay with you!"

"Good. We should be getting to New York later tonight. Lights is coming as well."

"Hm…Lights…I don't know him…"

"You'll like him, I'm sure of it." I said.

"I'll believe you."

That made me smile as I got up. "I'll meet you on the docks later."

"Alright!"

I nodded, and began to walk away until I heard her voice again.

"Kristen!"

I turned around to acknowledge her. "Thank you."

"Anytime." I replied, before turning and walking around the ship some more.

The day passed by slowly. Andrews Manor was the only thing on my mind. I didn't know what to expect, and I didn't even know if they knew he was dead. Before the ship docked, I rounded up Jess, Lissy, and Lights so we could all get off together. I was right, Jess and Lights got along fine. It seemed as if Lissy liked Lights as well.

It was then that the cloudy sky opened up. The rain came pouring down in buckets, and instead of running for cover, I embraced it. I opened my arms, and took it in. The rain was a sense of a new beginning, washing away troubles in it's torrents. Lights laughed at my antics. I think Jess and Lissy did as well, maybe everyone did, but who cared? I looked up to see the Statue of Liberty with her torch, welcoming all to the country.

I realized at once that I achieved my Father's dream. To sail across the Atlantic. I did it for myself, I did it for him, and I did it for society. As I looked up at the torch, burning bright through the storm, I realized that strength, and perseverance could overcome anything. I applied it to my life. After these past few days, my flame was still burning, stronger than it ever had been before.

**End**

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**Author's Note:**

**Wow, my first finished FanFic! Yay! I'm really proud of myself. I have been given some reviews with requests for a sequel, and that is why I ended it here. I think this is a perfect segue for a sequel to begin.**

**Thanks for all who reviewed, it gave me the drive to continue with this story, and it made me a better writer overall.**

**A HUGE thanks to these people:**

**Royandjohnnyfan: For providing reviews for every chapter. Also my first reviewer, and made me want to continue, because I always knew someone would be reading. :D**

**Maria465: For not only being a reviewer, but a very good friend in real life. Go BRS! :D**

**Chinadollontour: For reviewing and giving good inspiration. Also, for realizing how I tried to make Kristen such a real person with real feelings. I love your long, winded-up bits, don't worry. :D**

**Mystical Myst: For making me realize that Murdoch is more fun than Wilde. :D**

**Kazekagesamagaara: (I think I got the spelling right) For reviewing, and saying 'thanks' for my review on one of their pieces of work. :D**

**Nellmonster: For being a good friend in real life, and for giving me some support to continue on in the beginning. "It all started at 10:30 on a certain Monday night……." :D**

**Queen1989bee: For not only reviewing, but for also publishing an awesome James Moody Story, **_**Be Careful What You Wish For**_**. If you haven't read it, I would definitely recommend. :D**

**Poemwriter98: For being an awesome reviewer. I kept you in suspense! :D**

**Pugglegirl: For making me want to do a sequel! :D**

**And last but nowhere near least……**

**Irish Story Teller: For reviewing, and reading my story in the first place. You're an awesome writer, and we have a good co-write going. I hope you continue to write, and I think you could go far with it. You gave me plenty of behind-the-scenes support, and encouragement, Thanks so much! :D**

**Again, thanks to you all! I'll get started on that sequel, and maybe I'll have that first chapter up today!**

**It's been a pleasure to read your reviews and to write this story! I hope you all tune in for the sequel!**

**Best wishes,**

**Sabresrthebest**

**P.S. : I couldn't stand anyone feeling left out without a smiley, so you all get one!**


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